The Daily Crazy: The Daily Crazy

*singing*
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Put 'em together and what have you got
bippity-boppity-boo

Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
It'll do magic believe it or not
bippity-boppity-boo

Salagadoola means mechicka booleroo
But the thingmabob that does the job is
bippity-boppity-boo

Salagadoola menchicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Put 'em together and what have you got
bippity-boppity bippity-boppity bippity-boppity-boo
- Fairy Godmother (Disney's "Cinderella")

I have lost faith in my cell phone GPS. Seriously and completely. Have lost faith in it. I think it's been cahooting with my Tivo to play tricks on me.

Right. So I have no sense of direction. (I'm sure this shocks all of you) Someone asks which direction and I say "that way... I think." Yeah. So when I finally got the GPS thingermawhatsit on my phone ... WOW. I can GO places and not be afraid of getting lost. SWEET.

So I've been using it for a few months now and it's great. Doesn't always take me the best route, but boy if I make a wrong turn she is all over me. "Please make the next legal U-Turn." She even wants me to follow the traffic laws. *snicker... hmph*

Hm. Until recently ... she's been great. Always there for me. A real trooper.

I'm driving along in what is very unfamiliar territory. I wasn't paying attention and missed the way I was supposed to go cuz I didn't like the way the GPS was gonna take me... but hey, no worries... she'll guide me down my path "recalculating route" ...NICE... though... I think I insulted her...

Hm... unsafe and congested territory. Hmmmm... unsafe, congested, and mad confusing territory. Yipe. *GULP*

AND THEN IT HAPPENS. Just at the EXACT MOMENT that I realize I am lost... my GPS craps out and says "Please try again later."

WHAT?! Are you *expletive* KIDDING me with this? NOW? You choose NOW to crap out? When I'm actually lost? W T F.

Thankfully, I had a place to pull over (barely)... lock the doors... and beg and plead with said GPS (aka the evil bitch) to help me home.

She finally forgave me (after my cursing died down)... and guided me home. Through much traffic and frustration. Paybacks are most definitely... a bitch.

So don't second guess your GPS folks. Cuz you might wind up in a similar... if not much worse... situation.

Funny stuff...

Q: Why is a dog's nose in the middle of its face?
A: Because it's the scenter.

Q: What goes "krab, krab, krab"?
A: A dog barking in a mirror.

There was this tiger who woke up one morning and just felt great. He just felt
so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE
MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"
This poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course, no one is
mightier than you."

A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out: "WHO
IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"
The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: "Oh
great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."

The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was quietly
munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE
MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"

Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him
down; picks him up again, and shakes him until the tiger is just a blur of
orange and black, and finally throws him violently into a nearby tree.

The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says: "Man, just
because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so mad."