(past crazy) The Daily Crazy - 9/11/07

*singing* "I want chicken... I want liver.... Meow Mix, Meow Mix... Please Deliver..."

Picture this...

She walks along through the house.... *la la la... do do do.... whistling* content with the world. All is well. She walks into the bedroom...

*Jaws theme plays softly in the background* dunt dunt.... dunt dunt... dunt dunt dunt dunt

She stops.... sensing something is amiss.... one eyebrow up... *huh?*

dunt dunt, dunt dunt, dunt dunt, DUNT DUNT....

She turns and ............ SCREAMS!

A GIANT silverfish darts across the floor and .... goes right under the bed.

It's midnight and she finally braves going to bed. For sure the foul creature is plotting her demise... *Raspy voice...* "First... creepy crawl across her face while she sleeps... *tee hee hee* then.... she won't even see it coming *evil laugh*....

So will it just take a finger? Or blow up to it's "real size" and swallow her whole? Or will she wake up picking it's legs out of her teeth...

She cowers under the covers and quakes with fear.... closes her eyes and... *POP!* one eye pops open just to be sure it isn't there...

Yup folks. That was my evening. Hardly any sleep for fear this giant silverfish was going to jump out and "get me" while I slept.

Right.

So I've decided that alarm clocks are evil. Oh yes, they are. They make this loud, obnoxious noise REALLY early in the morning ... and after I hardly got any sleep? That's. Just. Plain. Mean. So I pictured myself chucking it out the window ... actually, through the window for the satisfying *CRASH! ...tinkling of the glass* Or playing cartoon and pulling out my giant mallet to smash it. *BOING!.... crunch* Evil.

A funny joke...

Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed. "What's wrong?"The depressed one replied, "I've been married four times and everyone of my husbands has passed away."The other lady asked, "What did they used to do?"The depressed lady replied, "Well, my first husband was a millionaire, the second was a magician, the third was an evangelist, and the fourth was a mortician."And the other said, "Oh, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."