(past crazy) The Daily Crazy - 9/18/07

*singing*
"Well, I lay my head on the railroad track
Waitin' on the "double e"
But the train don't run through here no more

Poor, poor pitiful me!
Poor, poor pitiful me!
Poor, poor pitiful me!
Oh, these boys won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me!
Woe, woe is me!"
- Terri Clark

So.... let me tell ya somethin' (doing my very best Jim Carrey)...

Picture this....

It's midnight... and she settles under the covers. The dog jumps up and lays himself down along the ENTIRE foot of the bed causing her to curl up into a fetal position. She's sleepy so she shuts her eyes and prepares to drift off into slumberland...

Little does she know... she's not going to visit there this evening... same ol' boring"Awake World" as the previous night...

1am... a soft sound in the distance... eye pops open... *POP!* she peers around the room... the one bloodshot eye creaks to the right.... *eeeeerrrrrrrrr* pause... then to the left... *eeerrrrr* hmfph. The eye slolwy creaks shut....

2am... the dog shifts and lays down across her foot... eye pops open ... *POP!* ... even more bloodshot than before... teeny tiny eye veins pulsing *thump thump.... thump thump*... practically boring holes into the very comfy... oblivious 105lb+ dog... hmfph. *grumble... expletive* The eye slolwy creaks shut....

Repeat 1am and 2am.... two more times... alternating eyes... ever more bloodshot each time...

The suitcases under my eyes are evidence of this super fun evening. *grumble... expletive*

So ... it gets better...

In all my brilliance... I decide to drink a sugar free red bull this morning. Mixed with some bubbly flavor water to help water the red bull down a bit. I drink a very tall glass of this concoction. Save that tidbit of info for later...

Now... most of you have seen me on caffeine. I'm hyper to BEGIN with... On caffeine? (normal cup of coffee caffeine... let alone a red bull) Take me times 1,000.... Oh it's frightening... Why do you think I had to wait to write today's Crazy? You would have seen a mad jumble of letters... that would have made absolutely no sense... (peanut gallery... warning you... I'm CRANKY)

So yeah... back to the very tall glass ...

I'm in the car... usually a 1/2 hour ride to work... hm. Traffic. WOW traffic. And... oh you guessed it... I gotta "powder my nose" (trying to be a lady here) so bad I'm trying to do the p-p dance whilst sitting. In crazy horrible WOW holy MOLY traffic. (very difficult mind you)

So I finally make it to the last stretch... and I get behind every slow *grumble... expletive* person on the road. When I tell you a growl from the depths of h*ll came out of me? MOOOOOOVE! I'm surprised the cars didn't fly off the road from the force of my wrath.

*sigh* Now the red bull has worn off and I'm ....... zzzzzzzzzzz