*singing*
"If I was a rich girl
(Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na....)
See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl"
- Gwen Stefani feat. Eve (If I was a Rich Girl)
Hello folks... hope your day has started off as well as mine. *insert sarcasm here* To start? Panty hose was created to torture women ... along with high heels (sorry guys ... you'll have to see a bit of "girl rant" here). SERIOUSLY. Not only are they tight, itchy, and uncomfortable... but they are expensive too! And some cruel fool made them so they rip really really REALLY easy. You have a teensie tiny little part of your nail that is sharp? You can guarantee it will put a run in them. Bump into the corner of a desk? Yup, *snag... oooh maybe it won't do it... slowly pull away... phew ... wait... rii iiiii iiiiiiiiiiP... DEMMIT*.
I get dressed this morning... after being mauled yet again by Dooley ... I probably don't have one bit of deordorant left on so steer clear... I do the "scrunch" (ladies know what I'm talking about) so that I can put one foot in, then the other ... yank... shimmy.... yank... shimmy... and...
.... my thumb goes directly through my panty hose... causing a run to go all the way down my leg. Hip to knee. (Ha ha!! I can still wear them with pants provided the runs don't show on my toes... tee hee hee... I've outsmarted the smarmy b-stard that created these horrid things...) Not only that... I then realize that I ALREADY have a run in the other leg. Great. Runs on both legs. Good way to start the day. And to boot.... I was running very late. right.
Now that I've vented... I feel much better. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening.
Right. Moving on....
A funny joke... (coming from a blonde no less...)
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over.
The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
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