“It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're Animaniacs!
Come join the Warner Brothers
And the Warner Sister, Dot
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot!
We're Animaniacs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax.
We're Animaniacs!
Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together;
Slappy whacks 'em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script
Why bother to rehearse?
We're Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks.
We're Animanie,
Totally insaney
Chicken Chow Meiny
Animaniacs!
Those are the facts.”
- Animaniacs Theme Song
While I was getting ready for work this morning, I was flippin’ through the channels and … SCORE! Animaniacs the Movie on HBO. SWEET. Hence my reason for being 15 minutes late this morning… oops. Hey, I’m a big kid at heart. Breakfast and cartoons before carting off to school… I mean work? YES PLEASE!
So it seems I have to change my perfume. Apparantly, it attracts bugs… Or something about my winning personality does. *GRIN* Hm. Either way…
I’ll set the scene…
I’m sitting in my office… tinkering around on my puter… (work to do but bored outta my gourd)… and one of the ladies in our office stops by to chat. Pleasant, gossip, the norm. Nice.
Then I look over to her right and see … IT.
A HUMUNGOUS SPIDER.
Big, hairy, brownish black, gigantic, kitten-sized, SPIDER. If you can pet it, it’s too big.
It’s sitting next to a pile of boxes that I was contemplating… moments before… lifting and bringing to my car. *GULP* yipe…
Big chicken that I am… I can’t kill it. And she’s not much better.
As both of us quiver in fear… she builds up the bravies to go grab something to smoosh it with. Poor spider… (yeah, I say poor thing when it instills a terror in me so great I can’t breathe…)
While she’s gone… I can practically hear the thing breathing… *whoooosh kaaaa… whoosh kaaaa…. LUKE… I AM YOUR FAAATHER…*
She grabs an empty box to kill it with… (right, no thanks)… she gets close… and it slowly creepy crawls up the wall a little… *shiver shiver shiver… teeth chatter… creepy dance… YIKES)*
Finally… she builds up the courage to SLAM! SQUISH! the box on the vicious creature. CRRRUUUUNNNNCCCCCH… …. Scuse me for a moment… tryin’ not to lose my breakfast… (of cinnamon sugar pop tarts… yum… but this is not the time to talk about those…)
If it crunches when you kill it? IT’S TOO BIG.
The End.
Things to ponder…
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Do sore thumbs really stick out?
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
Funny stuff…
#1
Two cows were standing in a pasture. A young bull comes by struttin his stuff and said, "Good morning ladies." One of the cows says, "Mooooo!" The second cow thought to her self, "Damn! I was going to say that."
#2
There's these animals in a restaurant. The waiter comes over at the end of the night to collect for the drinks. The skunk says, "Don't look at me, I haven't got a scent." The duck says, "Just put it on my bill." The cow says, "You'll have to ask one of the udders." The deer says, "I had a buck last week and I'm expecting a little doe soon." The giraffe says, "Well, I guess the high balls are on me then."
More funny stuff…
No comments:
Post a Comment