(past crazy) The Daily Crazy - 9/24/07

*singing*
Let the good times roll
Let them knock you around
Let the good times roll
Let them make you a clown
Let them leave you up in the air
Let them brush your rock and roll hair
Let the good times roll
Let the good times roll
Let the good times roll"
- The Cars (Let the Good Times Roll)

Oh it's Monday alright, and it's going all out to make sure we are well aware that it's a Monday. We have another man (woman) down at Fedders... just let go today from accounting. And I walked in today to "Jennifer, please have this done by 9am." A half hour for a decent sized project... no pressure. Riiiiight. And in "corporate speak" it's really "why isn't it already done? Didn't you read my mind?" *grumble... expeletive*

Word of advice. When drinking, do not mix. EVER. It is a mistake. It always will be. The hangover the next day? Will be a DOOZIE. You will regret it. No doubt. I've had a couple hang overs in the past few weeks. You think I'd learn my lesson? Yeah... no. Drink Gatorade, and lots of it. (advice and an advertisement rolled into one...)

Funny stuff...

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs and swings him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me. I'm just looking around."

This cowboy walks into a bar and orders a beer. His hat is made of brown wrapping paper. And so are his shirt, vest, chaps, pants, and boots. His spurs are also made of paper. Pretty soon, the sheriff arrives and arrests him for rustling.

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and . . . . a packet of peanuts. The barman says, why the big pause?"

A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer, please." The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're out of your head."

A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.

A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a voice say, "Nice tie." Looking around, he saw that the bar was empty except for him and the bartender. A few sips later, another voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man calls the bartender over. "Say, I must be losing my mind," he tells him. "I keep hearing these voices say nice things, and there is not a soul in here but us." "It's the peanuts," explains the bartender, indicating a dish on the bar. "The peanuts?" "That's right, the peanuts--they're complementary."