It's all a game of this or that, now versus then
better off against worse for wear
And you’re someone who knows someone who knows someone I once knew
And I just want to be a part of this
The road outside my house is paved with good intentions
Hired a construction crew, 'cause it's h-ell on the engine
You are the dreamer and we are the dream.
I could write it better than you ever felt it.
So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
- Fall Out Boy (Hum Hallelujah)
Good Monday morning to you all!
I know, I know… what’s so GOOD about it? The weekend is over and we have this ENTIRE week to “look forward” to. Hm. Bummah.
So I discovered something about myself this weekend. I have a really bad habit. (peanut gallery… it’s Monday… go easy huh?)
I had to make a quick stop at the grocery store for some delicious cheese and crackers. That’s IT. Right.
Well… of course… I was STARVING when I went. Two words. BAD. IDEA. Most people already know this… However, we all still do it.
Anyway… I get in the store and I’m wandering around the cheeses… mmmm… cheese… And pick out a whole bunch. Mmmm… and those delicious meat and cheese roll things. (They are REALLY good by the way… proscuitto and mozzarella… YUMMY.)
Now… I was smart enough to at least grab a hand-basket when I walked in. But a cart? Nope. I’m only picking up cheese & crackers, remember? Why would I need a cart? Right. Plus I want to at least TRY and limit myself cuz I know I’m starving and will want to buy up the whole store.
So my hand-basket is more than halfway full of cheese and meat. Now on to crackers. Which I throw a good 4 or so boxes of those in the rapidly filling basket… which has suddenly grown quite heavy… hmm… but I could really use some flavored bubbly water… why not? I’ll grab two 6-packs and carry them… along with the heavy basket…
I somehow manage to grab the water… heavy basket on my arm… thin metal handles digging into the crook of my arm… and then make the GIANT mistake of walking down the chip aisle… And… SCORE. The mixed Doritos that I have been searching for for weeks… Doritos Collisions… Hot Wings and Blue Cheese (don’t get the Taco ones… they don’t taste as good) Hm… How to grab them… seeing as to how I have no free hands. *GRIN* Somehow I manage to balance one of the packs of water on my knee, quickly grab the bag o’ deliciousness, throw it in the basket, and grab the water again before it falls. Success!
I barely made it to the register…
My bad habit? I always walk in the store thinking I don’t need a cart… and always wind up balancing things and lugging heavy items around the store. Though, in the end? I manage to save a whole lot of money cuz could you imagine what I would do if I had the cart? And was hungry? Forget it. One of everything would make its way in there. Two if it’s really yummy (or on sale…)
Things to ponder…
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Funny Stuff…
The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, s I sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked.
On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car behind me was a police car.
Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears.
He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up for flipping me the bird.
More funny stuff…
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