The Daily Crazy - January 31, 2008

*singing*
She got a shack
Floating down the Pontchartrain
With the water rolling in
You gotta swim
before the levees start to crack

Another day
Another dollar down the drain
You go to town
No one's around
Cause if you drown
there ain't no hope for coming back

It ain't no big thing if you lose your faith
They kinda like to keep you in your place
You never know what might be coming your way

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
Money's got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

You go to church
and pray to God for no more rain
A Cadillac
A paper sack
well hey there Jack
you want some bourbon for the pain

Hey tambourine
Ain't no rhythm on the street

With the voodoo
What do you do
when the radio just plays on anyway?

Those crazy fingers in your jelly jar
They'll jack your money
while you sleep in you car
They got the karma
they ain't getting too far

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
My money's got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Everybody come together
Everybody come together
Everybody come together
Everybody come together

Yeah everybody
Devil take your money
Money got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
Money got no hold of me
oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Love is free
Love is free
- Sheryl Crow (Love is Free)



Love Is Free Lyrics

I totally dig this song. Sheryl Crow is awesome. Another good one? "First Cut is the Deepest."

Anyhoo... (I apologize in advance for the mass amounts of sarcasm in today's blog... I really could not help myself...)

I have this... problem.

I turn red at the drop of a hat. Not always out of embarassment per se (there are some that have helped toughen me up a bit... I thank them for that here...)

I get nervous, embarrassed, even extremely happy.... BRIGHT RED. Also, I drink, and I'm a blotchy mess.

It starts with little red spots on my chest and neck... Seem harmless enough.... I start to heat up and I feel hot under the collar.... the little spots turn into giant red patches... that creep up my neck to my face...

It has gotten so bad that I've broken out in hives. When I was promoted to my current position, I developed a huge hive-welt on my cheek (and I was HAPPY). DISASTER. Thankfully, my boss knew my tendency to grow blotchy and understood.

Doesn't that sound.... HOT? I'm a looker folks. I can't play poker... forget it. You can see my "tell" from a mile away.

This is actually pretty bad. I'm concerned. It shows how wound up I am... A little, high strung shall we say? Twitchy? Solution... must knit more. Find a happy little stone cottage in my head and BREATHE.

Can you imagine me on... oh, let's say... an interview?

Can't IMAGINE why I would think interview first... *cough... sniffle... clearing throat* companygoindown.... I mean... I am so extremely happy... I think I'll stay here forever...

Me...



Me on a ... oh, let's say phone interview, why not... hypothetically speaking of course...



Funny stuff...

Things Not To Say at a Job Interview
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.

The lowlights:

Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent.

Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

Brought her large dog to the interview.

Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.

Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.

She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.

Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.

Asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.

Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer's office.

Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.

Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.

Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.

Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.

When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.

Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.

Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.

Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.

Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.

Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.

Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much.

While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.

During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.

A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.

An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.

His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.

He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.

He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.

Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.

He whistled when the interviewer was talking.

Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.

She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.

Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.

Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.


More funny stuff...