Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 31, 2008

*singing*
She got a shack
Floating down the Pontchartrain
With the water rolling in
You gotta swim
before the levees start to crack

Another day
Another dollar down the drain
You go to town
No one's around
Cause if you drown
there ain't no hope for coming back

It ain't no big thing if you lose your faith
They kinda like to keep you in your place
You never know what might be coming your way

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
Money's got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

You go to church
and pray to God for no more rain
A Cadillac
A paper sack
well hey there Jack
you want some bourbon for the pain

Hey tambourine
Ain't no rhythm on the street

With the voodoo
What do you do
when the radio just plays on anyway?

Those crazy fingers in your jelly jar
They'll jack your money
while you sleep in you car
They got the karma
they ain't getting too far

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
My money's got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Everybody come together
Everybody come together
Everybody come together
Everybody come together

Yeah everybody
Devil take your money
Money got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
Money got no hold of me
oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Love is free
Love is free
- Sheryl Crow (Love is Free)



Love Is Free Lyrics

I totally dig this song. Sheryl Crow is awesome. Another good one? "First Cut is the Deepest."

Anyhoo... (I apologize in advance for the mass amounts of sarcasm in today's blog... I really could not help myself...)

I have this... problem.

I turn red at the drop of a hat. Not always out of embarassment per se (there are some that have helped toughen me up a bit... I thank them for that here...)

I get nervous, embarrassed, even extremely happy.... BRIGHT RED. Also, I drink, and I'm a blotchy mess.

It starts with little red spots on my chest and neck... Seem harmless enough.... I start to heat up and I feel hot under the collar.... the little spots turn into giant red patches... that creep up my neck to my face...

It has gotten so bad that I've broken out in hives. When I was promoted to my current position, I developed a huge hive-welt on my cheek (and I was HAPPY). DISASTER. Thankfully, my boss knew my tendency to grow blotchy and understood.

Doesn't that sound.... HOT? I'm a looker folks. I can't play poker... forget it. You can see my "tell" from a mile away.

This is actually pretty bad. I'm concerned. It shows how wound up I am... A little, high strung shall we say? Twitchy? Solution... must knit more. Find a happy little stone cottage in my head and BREATHE.

Can you imagine me on... oh, let's say... an interview?

Can't IMAGINE why I would think interview first... *cough... sniffle... clearing throat* companygoindown.... I mean... I am so extremely happy... I think I'll stay here forever...

Me...

Photobucket

Me on a ... oh, let's say phone interview, why not... hypothetically speaking of course...
Photobucket


Funny stuff...

Things Not To Say at a Job Interview
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.

The lowlights:

Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent.

Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

Brought her large dog to the interview.

Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.

Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.

She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.

Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.

Asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.

Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer's office.

Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.

Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.

Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.

Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.

When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.

Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.

Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.

Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.

Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.

Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.

Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much.

While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.

During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.

A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.

An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.

His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.

He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.

He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.

Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.

He whistled when the interviewer was talking.

Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.

She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.

Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.

Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.


More funny stuff...














Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 30, 2008

*singing*
This is the song that never ends...

and it goes on and on my friend...
some people, started singing it not knowing what it was...
and I'll continue singing it forever cuz...
This is the song that never ends.....

*snicker...GRIN*

So I've discovered that I am incredibly ... lazy. Yes. LAZY.

I seriously have to do some grocery shopping. I'm down to stale chips and tap water. Oh, and Diet Coke but based on my episode the other night? Yeah, no thanks.

Here's the thing... I can't stand grocery shopping. Which, let's face it, not very many actually "like" it.

But I don't like it for a strange reason...

Grocery store parking lots are a pain. Especially in winter... or when it's raining. I can't STAND having to park there. It's always crazy... people running around, in the way, with their carts full of booty, everyone zooming around trying to get a better spot, etc. Not to mention, walking across that vast open lot to get to and from the door. It's a loooong walk when it's windy and cold and/or rainy out.

So. I'm lazy. And, hungry.

Hungry

More funny stuff...








Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 29, 2008

*singing*
You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are gray...

These four lines ... over.... and over... and OVER again in my head. *grimace*

Perhaps because I am in a good mood? All bubbles and sunshine?

bubbles

SUNSHINE



Riiiiight.

My house still hasn't sold, my company is... well... *far away... getting closer... whistling sound...* WHAM. Well, it just hit the wall. And my contractor has disappeared off the face of the earth...


Eh. Pshaw. BRING IT.

On another note...

A word of advice. If you are sensitive to caffeine, such as myself, do not kid yourself into thinking "one Diet Coke won't hurt my sleep." Because, News Flash, it will. (oh ... and cha-CHING! on the Diet Coke plug... *GRIN*)

I made this giant mistake last night.

I wanted something with flavor. Been a good girl and have been drinking lots of water. It's good for the body. Good for the skin. Blah blah, whatever.

I should have just reached for a beer instead... not only would it not have hurt my sleep, it would have actually helped me on my journey to sleepytown.

So... I was actually able to fall asleep. Haha! Take that caffeine!

However... there is a side effect. Strange dreams. I mean the kind where you wake up and go... "How on EARTH did THAT get in my head?"

Heed my advice folks. You'll sleep better.

Oh! Tee hee... short video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ART2V2ICxZI&feature=related






Funny stuff...


















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Monday, January 28, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 28, 2008

*singing*
Cats and rabbits
Would reside in fancy little houses
And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers
In a world of my own

All the flowers
Would have very extra special powers
They would sit and talk to me for hours
When I'm lonely in a world of my own

There'd be new birds
Lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds
Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds
Within that world of my own

I could listen to a babbling brook
And hear a song that I could understand
I keep wishing it could be that way
Because my world would be a wonderland
- Alice (World of My Own - Alice in Wonderland)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m66PS2abFz8



I seem to be on an Alice in Wonderland kick. Hm. I've also been humming "a very Merry Un-Birthday ... to me?... to you... " Torture. It's worse than Henry VIII. *giggle ... snicker... * Ha ha! You know you're hummin' it too. Good luck with that.

Feelin' a little loco folks. It's Monday, so I have the usual Monday ARRRrrG going on.

Lazy

And besides that? Let's add to the flavah with weather in the teens this morning. And oooh... it gets better...

My office is a refrigerator. No joke. I have a floating "magic" Harry Potter pen (would you expect any less?) that is constantly bouncing from the force of the air blowing on it. And because I am a giant dork, I shot a video of it. I cannot figure out how to get it on my computer today... but stay tuned for the exciting footage. I know... you are breathless with anticipation.

In all seriousness? I wonder why I always feel lousy in this building. Not only is it the "cheery" *cough* atmosphere... but the ice cold air blowing on my noggin' all day. I actually went as far as to stand on my desk to block the vent with file folders. That was fun... dangling precariously on the edge of my slippery desk... in stocking'd feet no less. Oh, and I'm afraid of heights. Not to mention spiders... which I'm sure giant ones are living up there... waiting to pounce. (yeah... that was fun thinking of spiders once I was already on my desk with my hands up in the ceiling... ew ew ew ew ew)

My being ice cold trumped my fear though. In the words of Dr. Evil... It's frickin' freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth. I'm wearing like 5 layers of clothing and I have no feeling in my face or toes. Brrrrrr... demmit.

freezing

Funny stuff...

Lazy


















More funny stuff...








Friday, January 25, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 25, 2008

*singing*
Get that planet on the phone...
Ain't no time to waste...
Tell em' he ain't comin' home...
Cuz he's joined the human race...

They call him
Howard the Duck...
No way to conceal it...
and he shot an arrow straight through my heart...
- Howard the Duck

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PVb2xZn2gqY



I could not help myself... I was inspired by talk of ducks. This immediately popped into my warped mind.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZqkQA6fcOBk



Right. Anyhoo...

You know... it's being in this cold, bitter, windy weather that makes me glad I live in NJ. Why, you ask me? I know, I must be crazy. What, I WANT to pay more for car insurance? ("but I saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico"... hahahahahaha... I couldn't resist... ) Cost of living is through the roof! I WANT this?

Yes. Here is why...

I don't have to pump my own gas. Ha ha! I can sit in my warm toasty car, roll down the window just long enough to slip out my card/cash, and roll it back up to contain the heat.

Now those of you living far down south are laughing at me... because it's always warm down there... and therefore, isn't a big deal to get out and pump your own gas. However! You still have to GET OUT of your car... touch that nasty, greasy, gas soaked pump with your HANDS *shivers* ew ew ew... and fill up your own tank. *snicker* I laugh at your expense.

And another thing I noticed? Gas has actually been CHEAPER in NJ than in the other crazy states. So... not only do you have to pump your own gas... it's MORE EXPENSIVE!

Again... I laugh at you! Ha ha! *snicker*


Funny stuff...















Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 24, 2008

*singing*
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby
- Elvis (Little Less Conversation)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOcZVl5EeRI



I had to use the Chris Daughtry American Idol clip of this song... seeing as to how...

AMERICAN IDOL IS BACK ON! WOOT!

Yes, I'm an American Idol fan. I'm wearing the big flashing neon DORK sign. Proudly.

american idol

I will try to contain my dorkish tendencies in here... though it will be hard. If I find a favorite on the show... look out... (Chris Daughtry, you're fantastic... you rock my world... you... ok... I'll stop)

So it's getting interesting here. I just want to KNOW what's going to happen already. Pieces go here... pieces go there... but still no official "by the way, here is what is happening." Hello? Concerned here?

Right. More like chopped liver.

hm.

Chopped liver pug


*singing* Should I stay or should I go now.... if I go there will be trouble... but if I don't it will be double... so come on and let me know... should I stay or should I go?


Funny stuff...








Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 23, 2008

*singing*
Ill tumble 4 ya
Ill tumble 4 ya
Ill tumble 4 ya
Ill tumble 4 you
- Culture Club (Tumble for You)

I know... this song is just MEAN. but .... muhaha... muhahaha... muhahahahahahahaha!

It's one of those where you don't really know the rest of the lyrics either.... so you keep singing the same four lines over... and over... and over... Good grief I'm horrible. *snicker... giggle*

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jxpRQX-SNt4






So I finished my "fun" scarf!! Here are some pictures... what happened is I didn't realize the light blue and taupe were gonna knit so skinny... then the white knitted KAPOW!... puffy. I decided to run with it anyway.

The blue and taupe actually have little silver bits in them too (reminds me of tinsel). Verra sparkly. Verry purty. I'm diggin' it. The pictures make the blue look kind of like mint green... it's actually a baby blue. Really pretty!

The only bad part is I ran out of white on the one side... so the block is about half the size of the one on the other side. (I cheated when I took the picture... *sheepish grin*) But no big. The scarf is for me so I'll deal. Though every time I look at it I'll probably beat myself up about it... I'm my own worst critic!


scarf 1

scarf 2


Funny stuff...
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul
it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph
office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her
that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer
to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, it will cost 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull,
the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send
her the word "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
"comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read
it very slowly.. "com-for-da-bul."


More funny stuff...

















Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 22, 2008

*singing*
Bad girls
talking about the sad girls
sad girls
talking about the bad girls, yeah

Toot toot... hey... beep beep
- Donna Summers (Bad Girls)

Totally random... I ... I don't know.

I have absolutely nothing to talk about today. I'm tired, and cranky, and lazy. So there. I stick my tongue out at you in defiance because I will be deemed... BORING. Ha!

Seriously though. I have nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. At least nothing that I care to share. Oh... SNAP!

Hey, tomorrow I should have a picture of my new pretty scarf that I knitted all by me onesy. YEAH! Hey... come on... at least FAKE excitement will ya? It's what I would call... a "fun scarf." Meaning... it turned out a little weird... so by calling it "fun" it's therefore "cool" and "pretty." Right.


Funny stuff...

Just random clips and things that have made me laugh today.

Photobucket

gremlins

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HAhjiNUdWhE




Funny stuff...






























Friday, January 18, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 18, 2008

*singing*
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna have myself a time,
(Kyle + Stan) Friendly faces everwhere humble folks without temptation,
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna leave my woes behind,
(Cartman) Ample Parking Day or Night, people spouting, "Howdy, Neighbor"
I'm headin' down to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind,
(Kenny) mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble.... mumble mumble mumble mumble
So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine.
-South Park Theme Song

(it's officially stuck in my noggin'... see funny stuff below...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnkyGQLZhHw



pssst... know what?

IT'S FRIDAY.

Just thought I should share.

TGIF. Big time. I can't WAIT to get outta here today. It's tense folks. Who knows what's gonna happen. I can hear the whistling of the boulder... any day now...

WHAM! Right on my head.

Oh here we go... *singing* "Wake me up... before ya go go... "

Bits and pieces of the company are being sold off. Who knows what's going to happen to us?

I'm hearing the swish... swish of that ax again...

"Off with their heads!"

queen of hearts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfmAzoILaK8&feature=related




Funny stuff...






More funny stuff...





Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Daily Crazy - January 17, 2008

*singing*
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
- Avril Lavigne (Keep Holding On)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmukW1sNlIk



A fitting song for today's TDC... From the movie... Eragon.

I have more good news!! I just found out that the third book in The Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini will be released September 20, 2008! It's about TIME.

I've read Eragon and Eldest. Both were fantastic. (I also got others hooked ... muhahahaha muhahahahahah!) Eldest just left you hanging at the end. So FINALLY! Book 3. And right before the 6th HP movie comes out... good timing!

I wonder when movie 2 will come out. And I hope they do a better job this time. Eragon the movie was kind of a disappointment. If it had been done along the same lines as Lord of the Rings it would have been amazing. But it was geared towards young kids. BLEGH. Sci-Fi fans of the series went berserk and rightfully so. John Malkovich as Galbatorix though? AWESOME CHOICE. He's a great bad guy. Jeremy Irons as Brom? Also a good choice. Rachel Weisz as Saphira, not bad. Great actors, bad directing (sorry!)

Anyhoo... enough of my rant on Eragon. Now on to more important things. Food.

I have discovered a new tasty snack mix and wanted to share. Frito Lay "Munchies." Included you'll find a cheesy mix of little baby Doritos, Sun Chips, Cheetos, and Rold Gold Pretzels. They are the cutest lil' chips you ever did see and are... DELICIOUS.

Be warned. If you open the bag, you can pretty much count on eating the entire thing in one sitting. There is no "well, I just want a few to see what it tastes like." Right. Don't kid yourself.

Thankfully, I'm not a big pretzel fan (though honey twists are crack in the form of a pretzel), so I picked all of them out and ate the other three. (of course I threw out the "healthiest" of the four) *grimace* I'll be paying for that on the treadmill tonight.

I just made the giant mistake of going to http://www.fritolay.com/. For crying out loud... they make them in a Ranch too. I'm done for.

http://www.fritolay.com/fl/flstore/cgi-bin/Nutrition_ProdID_3170.htm

http://www.fritolay.com/fl/flstore/cgi-bin/Nutrition_ProdID_392130.htm

Funny stuff...

You know that whistling sound of things falling (that eventually land on top of Wile E. Coyote) in the Warner Bros. Looney Tunes cartoons? That is the sound that keeps popping into my head as I sit here at work. I'm just waiting for the giant boulder to fall on my head. More detail on that later...

Wile. E. Coyote Help

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RNboK98Ay0&feature=related



More Funny stuff...