The Daily Crazy - March 31, 2008

*singing*
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
He stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong a handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scotish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show

Ring-ding didle iidle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Around the bonnie star the scot's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see you've won first prize"

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize.
- Irish Rovers (The Drunk Scotsman)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAsraTQxmMg&feature=related




I learned something about beer. Now mind you, when I started drinking beer, I would only drink Mich Ultra (or something equally light). But now... after my pleasant experience with Sam Adams Light, my "thirst" for knowledge is "unquenchable." *snicker...giggle* Get it? thirst? Unquenchable? hahahahahaha! I crack myself up.

Anyway... I'm going to embarrass myself in front of the experienced beer drinkers, but here goes. It's embarrassing, but I'll admit it's funny, so I'll share.

I went to purchase Guinness the other day. Now I don't drink the heavy brew (unless it's an Irish Car Bomb... riiiight... I can't sip it, but I can chug it. Makes perfect sense...). Anyway, I know very little (turns out... nothing) about it.

Hmmm... Guinness Draught (note the spelling) or Guiness Extra Stout. Err on the side of caution, and go with the Draught.

Now. How is that spelled? Hm? Would you know that it is pronounced DRAFT? Yeah, I had no idea. And when I pronounced it ever so incorrectly, I was pointed and laughed at. A lot. (I shall not mention the box incident... even I have limits when it comes to humiliating myself publicly).

I stick my tongue out at your mockery.

I have now expanded to Yuengling and Sapporo as well. I've actually had those in the past, but for the most part stuck with my "safe" Mich Ultra. They are both equally delicious. Especially with sushi.

mmmMMMM... Raw fish... In the words of Gollum (you LOTR peeps know what I mean) .... "I like em rrrraw... and wrrrrriggling!" Yummy.

Speaking of food? (when am I NOT talking about food?) BBQ the other night? HOLY LOTS OF PORK BATMAN. It was so delicious... though I don't think I can look at pork for at least a month. I ate an entire plate of it... pulled, sliced, and ribs. OH MY!

Yeah, try asking for "pork 3 ways" and NOT mocked for asking to be porked three ways. Hm.

Funny stuff...

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an
oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they
stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise
and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person
one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what
the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps
His fingers, and it is done.

The second one I n line hears this and says "I want to
be gorgeous too" Another snap of His fingers and the
wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be
gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the
last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is
rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what
his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and
says:

"Make 'em all ugly again."

More funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/