The Daily Crazy

The Not-So-Daily Crazy - January 27, 2009

2009-01-27T14:16:00.006-05:00

*singing*
"Happy Working Song" - Amy Adams in "Enchanted"
"Purple People Eater" - Ray Stevens
"True Love's Kiss" - Amy Adams in "Enchanted"
"Ever Ever After" - Carrie Underwood

The Damsel in Distress

It’s early one fine morning. The damsel awakens.

A ladylike stretch… a gentle yawn… a smile. Time to start the day.

She skips her way along to the bathing chamber. Humming a little hum, singing a little tune. Though softly, so as not to awaken the slumbering prince.

As she enters the chamber… she gasps! “Oh! What’s this? “

A foul beast awaits her!

There, perched in front of the bathing tub lies the foulest creature she has ever seen! Fangs dripping, mouth foaming, it’s hair grimy and matted… the beast snarls at her. Ready to lunge at any moment to devour her whole!

The damsel races from the room! Barely escaping the beasts clutches.

She gently rouses the sleeping prince. He leaps up from his sleeping pallet! Trumpets blaring! Hands on hips. His smile ever so dashing.

He gallantly exclaims “I shall save you fair damsel! No beast shall harm my fair maiden!”

With the court jester (deaf though he is) in tow… He charges from the room to destroy the horrid beastie.

It growls and he laughs with glee. “Ha ha! Think you to eat my maiden for your morning feast?! Think again!”

He charges forward and… bests the beast!

So they think…

Somehow the beast gets free! And in comes the Jester to celebrate with the happy couple, thinking the coast is clear…

For some odd reason, the beast is afraid of the Jester! And he flees… though is now in hiding to return for his revenge another day… muhaha.... muhahahaha... muhhahahAHAHAHAHAHA!

To be continued…

The real story?

I woke up this morning, growled at my alarm, and snarled “it’s time to get up ALREADY?” I stumbled into the bathroom to find a spider perched on the towel rack. I contemplated leaving it there … I even got another towel. But I had visions of it crawling on me in the shower. So I very carefully, very sweetly, woke Frank up to get it for me… This was all around 6am too. He ever so patiently got up and went into the bathroom to take care of it. Unfortunately, it either got away or another one came out of the woodwork. And Cody (you guessed it, the deaf Jester) decided to bound into the room at that moment so it scurried away before he could get it.

I almost got soap in my eyes keeping one open at all times… just to be sure it didn’t sneak into the shower with me. *insert sheepish grimace here*

The Daily Crazy - August 19, 2008

2008-08-19T15:20:00.017-04:00

*singing*
"I'm Shipping Up To Boston" - Dropkick Murphy's

It has been so long since I've graced all of you with my blogger presence!!

This blog has been a great outlet for me as well as a way to spread cheer. And let's face it... spreading cheer is one of my favorite things to do. Not only does it (hopefully) get a giggle, chuckle, snicker, or a grimace out of you... it makes me laugh at myself. And laughter is most definitely the best medicine.

This past year has seriously tested my ability to keep my patience, temper, sanity, etc. in check. And being able to come in here and share my crazy/embarrasing/funny stories with you has been a wonderful way to help me get through the "ptttooooeee."

Thank you for that.

Shaking off the gooey gushy mushy moment...

And now for something a little different!

I have some big news to share ...

wait... let the suspense build...

wait for it...

hold yer breath...

turning blue...cant'... wait... much... longer

I'm moving up to Boston.

Wait... WHAT WAS THAT?

Yes folks, I'm moving up to Boston! I am a HAPPY GIRL. I'm at the tail end of this roller coast year ... just a little bit further to go before I can charge through the light at the end of the tunnel...

My happy train is chuggin' along... and it's headed north.

*singing* Pardon me boy, it that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?

I'm a Happy Girl... Off to experience new things and live out more crazy/embarrasing/funny stories to share with you...

P.S. ...*giggling* check out this link... it reminds me of me at the moment... (if the link doesn't behave, search yahoo or msn videos for "das boob"...)

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us

The Daily Crazy - August 13, 2008

2008-08-13T11:06:00.003-04:00

*singing*
"Overkill" - Men at Work

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps its just my imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
Its time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Its just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

The Daily Crazy - July 30, 2008

2008-07-30T12:43:00.004-04:00

*singing*
"Bad Day" - Fuel

The Daily Crazy - June 6, 2008

2008-06-06T07:45:00.002-04:00

*singing*
Labels or Love by Fergie

So let me start off by stating ... I cannot see anything without my glasses or contacts. I may have mentioned this before, but it is a very important piece of information for this story.

Nothing. Everything is a blur. Everything is fuzzy and colors and blur together - also important to know.

I've been wearing my glasses this week due to a very irritated left eye. (methinks I wore my contacts too long and scratched my peeper... my bad.)

Anyhoo... this morning...

I go through my daily routine. I hop in the shower... now... I don't wear glasses in the shower (who does?) ... so I can't see much. But I can see enough to get the job done.

I'm washing up, scrubbying along, when I feel... IT.

Right smack in the middle of my lower back... something is stuck... and it's stickin out... hard, flat ... I turn around to try to see (hahahaha... cuz not only am I not wearing glasses, it's in a spot that is hard to see to begin with) and all I see is black blur...

OH MY GOD IT'S A TICK. And... I TOUCHED IT.

Now, we all know that I'm deathly afraid of spiders. Well, ticks are above spiders on that list of things I fear. The little freaks just creep. me. out.

I try not to panic. Keep my breathing even. And rinse the conditioner out of my hair.

Breathe in... breathe out.... breathe in...

I try to dry off a little, completely avoiding touching anywhere near the evil little bugger.

I reach for my glasses... Hands shaking...

Breatheinbreatheoutbreathein... I am just about hyperventilating.

Glasses on... quick!... look around and...

It's a sticker.

Yup folks. A sticker. You know, one of those little inspection stickers from your clothes? Clear with black writing. Half of it was stuck to me and it was bent... (hence the flat hard thing I felt sticking out).

I... have no more words.

The Sporadic Crazy - May 23, 2008

2008-05-23T13:57:00.003-04:00

*singing*
Lynyrd Skynyrd - "That Smell"

I know... it's been so long! It seems I've had a touch of writers block. I just needed some inspiration.

Well... Inspiration just WHAM! slapped me full in the face.

It's a beautiful day out... the sun is shining... the birds are singing... a gentle breeze...

I decided to go home at lunch today to chill out with the dawgs... (after downing a most delicious, and huge, lunch)...

The scene

I let them out... and note that Cody is hanging out by the side of the pool a lot, but think nothing of it...

I go back in... Dooley is chillin' outside... I'm hanging out at the kitchen table... Cody with me... all are happy.

hm.

Time to go back to work. I let Dooley inside...

*sniff... sniff*

What the HELL is that smell???? It smells like... dead thing. You know how a smell is so bad it goes right to your mouth? Where your mouth fills up with saliva and you think you're gonna hurl? YEAH. That's how bad it was.

And it was all over Dooley.

Dogs are disgusting. They like to roll in dead things. WHY DO THEY DO THAT??? Because, seriously, it's BEYOND nasty.

So not only was it all over Dooley, Cody was hanging out by said dead thing (cuz that's how I found where it was... I put 2 and 2 together... eventually). I THINK it was a rabbit once upon a time. That's how dead it was.

So now BOTH dogs needed a bath. And I was running late getting back to work.

Great.

I had to soap & hose down both dogs. *sigh* (and ew ew ew ew... touch them with my HANDS... touch the dead thing nastiness with my HANDS... bleeeggghhhhharrrgggghhh)

But it gets better...

I finish with Dooley (who proceeded to shake and get wet dog smell ALL over me). I keep somewhat of an eye on him while hosing down Cody. Well the SECOND I look away... here he comes running from the direction of the dead thing. *&^% !!!!

I let go of Cody to hose down Dooley again... and Cody proceeded to go roll ... head to toe... in dark mulch. DOUBLE *&^% !!!

BAD DOGS!! VERY BAD DOGS!

Needless to say, they did NOT get a treat when I left. I stink. Like wet dog... and a little like dead thing (unless it's just in my head... but I'm afraid it's not).

Happy Friday and three day weekend.

Right.

Oh... did I mention that people wanted to come look at the house this afternoon too? hahahahahahahahahahah! Hilarious. Current status of the house... well... it smells like me right now... times 1,000... + 2 wet dogs fermenting inside.

*grumble*

The Daily Crazy - April 25, 2008

2008-04-18T11:17:00.006-04:00

*singing*
Madonna - "4 minutes"

You know what stinks? Every watch I own is dead. Not one of them is working now. But yet… I still wear them. Why is that? And why is it I don’t go and get the batteries replaced?

Is it because I just don’t have the time?

Hahahahah!! Get it? Don’t have the time? I’m cracking myself up here...

Right.

I learned a valuable lesson last night. It is spring… but not quite. So we’ll call this season “Not-Quite Spring.”

It has been ridiculous pretty outside. I got home, threw aside the sliding glass doors, and flung myself outside with the dogs. My arms outstretched… face up to the sky…

Uh oh…

*singing* The HILLS are ALIVE… with the sound of MUSIC….

So I had the fan going, windows open, a lighter blanket, thin pajamas and… woke up at 2am freezing my behind off. Well DUH. It dropped back down into the 40’s at night. I’m a GENIUS.

Anyway...

So the other night…

I walk the dogs either right after work when it’s purty and sunny… or at night when it’s nice and quiet and the stars are out. I opted for the latter on this particular evening.

Picture this…

We’re walking along… walking along…

Tails swishing, big doggie grins on our faces. It’s a cool evening… the stars are twinkling. All is right with the world.

La la la… happy place… Until…

*sniff*… *sniff*

Hm.

*sniff*… *sniff*

I SMELL SKUNK.

And most of you know how much I loathe and despise skunks. After one got Dooley full in the face? Yeah. They can go play in traffic.

Back to the story…

We were still a good distance from the house… nowhere to turn… and it’s DARK. Plenty of places for creepy critters, such as this foul beastie, to hide.

I try to pick up the pace… and that’s when the boys decide they want to do some extra sniffing and drag along. GROAN.

That’s when it happens… Cody stops suddenly (and I almost go tumbling over him…) shoves his nose into a bunch of low bushes… and….

SURPRISE! yyyiiiiiiipppppeeeeeee!!!

A “thing” comes out of nowhere, bounces up, and scurries off in the other direction.

“It” being what I thought was the skunk of course. And being so on edge… expecting it to come out of nowhere and spray us… I nearly needed to change my shorts from the fright.

“It” turned out to be a cute, fuzzy, chubby lil’ bunny rabbit.

Lil’ bunny almost got a beat down. Cute or no.

Funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - April 17, 2008

2008-04-17T08:59:00.008-04:00

*singing*
The Tractors - "The Wheels on the Bus"

So one of my major rules has been... don't type angry. Well, that ship has sailed my friends. I am FUMING.

I would really like to talk about the thorn that has firmly lodged itself in my left cheek, however... I don't want to break another of my major rules... don't use names. As you've probably noticed, I tend to dance around the intended recipient. In a charming blend of subtleness and sarcasm...

Let's just say that 6 months have passed and my house is still on the market. Granted, the market is pretty bad... HOWEVER. There are certain IMPORTANT circumstances that, not handled properly or the way they should be done, could seriously hinder the process as well.

"Certain important circumstances" should go out to dinner with my contractor (who, by the way, never came back and walked away from the job... then just recently left a humble message wanting to "come pick up the tools he left behind"... riiiiiight... and, um... it's like 4 months later...). They'd get along famously seeing as to how both apparantly don't know what side is up or down. It's like a Dr. Suess book on smack.

Not to mention... the mess caused by "certain circumstances" is all MY fault. Never the circumstances themselves. Hm. Interesting.

So not only do I have a barbed thorn stuck in my ass, I have a finger firmly pointed in MY direction.

That's gonna leave a mark.

My advice? Referrals are a beautiful thing. Don't go to the unknown and let a false front fool you as I let happen to me. They may seem great to start... but in the end can turn out to be a hot mess. Hm. Boy have I learned THAT lesson more than once...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... shame on me.

Funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - April 14, 2008

2008-04-14T07:56:00.003-04:00

*singing*
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

*BANG! Sluuurrp… Cluck…. BANG! POP!*

SNAP goes my sanity.

Don’t sleep in late on the weekends. Because when you have to get up early on Monday? It makes it that much harder to get moving. And Every. Single. Sound… is amplified times 1,000. No cup of coffee can cure this either. Not even the large cup of Sumatra Bold I scored this morning.

So this makes me grouchy. Extremely grouchy. Grumpy. Irritable. Fire-breathing dragon-like.

*BANG! Sluuurrp… Cluck…. BANG! POP!*

Every time I hear this… my cartoon cloud pops up … &^% !

Chitty chitty BANG bang we love you…

&^#% !

*giggling* … I am so mean… Not only to you, but to myself. I’m gonna be whistling “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” ALL DAY. At least it’s a happy little ditty. Next I’ll hit you with Armour Hot Dogs… *snicker* Seeing as to how I’m in such a bad mood… evil-sprite-ness has inspired me to… SING.

“They’re hot dogs. ARMOUR hot dogs! The dogs… kids … love… to … biiiiiite!”

Oh I did. *GRIN*

I feel better now.

So I had a pretty relaxing weekend. I rented movies and knitted… and hit up SaladWorks … both days. NO CHICKEN POT PIE SOUP? Madness. Though their Italian Wedding Soup… pretty darn delicious.

Anyhoo… Here is my movie review:

Alien vs. Predator – Excellent. I now want to see AVP 2 though I hear it was nowhere near as good.

August Rush – SUPER Excellent, must see!! I cried like a baby for a solid 10 minutes. It was THAT GOOD.

Enchanted – CUTE! I loved this movie. Very cute, good giggles and silliness.

I Am Legend – I’m on the fence. I am pretty upset with a few parts of the movie. I won’t blow the movie for those who haven’t seen it. But I love Will Smith so I’ll give it a good review.

28 Weeks Later – Very “Dawn of the Dead”-like. Not horrible, not great. Was ok.

The Mist – Very good! This is one of my favorites from Stephen King. (Along with The Stand.) They changed it up a bit, but well done. After I watched it I picked up a new Stephen King that I’ve had sitting on my bookshelf and hadn’t gotten around to reading yet. “Lisey’s Story.” I can’t tell you what I think of it yet, but it started off interesting.

Book reviews… to be cont’d…

Funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - April 11, 2008

2008-04-11T09:00:00.004-04:00

*singing*
- Da Crazy Frog - "Punchy Punchy and "1001 Nights"
- David Cook - "Billy Jean"

Holy MACKAREL. I've had a ridiculous amount of caffeine today. And it's not even 10am yet.

Me today. (Note: "The Annoying Thing" *snicker*)

I discovered that my cafeteria is AWESOME. The sammiches? FANTASTIC. Fresh turkey, lettuce, tomato and cheese on wheat with just the right amount of mayo. HOLLA!!

And... here's the kicker. They sell Starbucks coffee!!! Sumatra Bold for me this morning. Oh...SNAP.

So here I sit. Twitching and giggling at myself. Singing along with da Crazy Frog.

It's also Friday so I'm a little punchy. Get it? The song is called Punchy Punchy? hahahahahah!

Oh boy... I have GOT to switch to decaf. Seriously.

Anyhoo... What the *&^% is going on with American Idol??? Michael Johns was eliminated?! And Carly Smithson was in the bottom three again?! That's as bad as Brooke White being in the bottom three. This is MADNESS I tell you!

I want it to come down to Carly Smithson and David Cook. With Brooke at least as one of the top 3. I love everyone that's left, but methinks they are my favorites. David Cook made Billy Jean sound COOL. Um, hello. If you can make a Michael Jackson classic sound good? Props.

Funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - April 9, 2008

2008-04-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

*singing*
Four Shells - "Hot Dog"

Three words.

HOT DOG JOHNNY'S.

As I sat drooling... watching the clock tick... tick... tick... I ever so patiently waited for my lunch hour to come. Knowing that soon I would be tasting the most delicious hot dogs EVER.

For those of you who have lived in New Jersey, a majority of you should know what I'm talking about. If not, check out the site. And go there. As soon as possible. Trust me, you won't regret the heart burn.

http://hotdogjohnny.com/

I have yet to find a hot dog that beats them. Though hot dogs on the grill are a close second. You cook it till it's nice and crispy and YUM.

Now, this is very important. What do you put on your hot dog? Seriously! This tells a lot about a person. Like people who put ketchup on their eggs (are just weird)... I mean...

Me? Both ketchup and mustard. I can eat it with either or... but it's SO much better with both. And not just a dab of each either. Slather that madness on that bad boy. And you EAT IT ALL UP.

Even better? You won't be shocked... Take a scoop of macaroni & cheese (yes, the good fake kind with powdered cheese and EXTRA butter, less milk... we've been here before) and throw it on top. French fries'll do... but mac & cheese?

HELLLLOOOOO NURSE.

Drink beer, belch (LOUDLY), and your day will be complete.

Funny cartoon clip...

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/1814525/5985740

Funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - April 1-4 & 7, 2008

2008-04-07T08:00:00.005-04:00

*singing*
Six o'clock already
I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin' Valentino
By a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can't be late
'Cause then I guess I just won't get paid
These are the days
When you wish your bed was already made

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday
- The Bangles (Manic Monday)

Is the coast clear? Or are the angry readers ready to pounce with pitchforks and torches?

*peeking from around the corner... blink... blink... mischievous sprite creeps up behind me and ... BOO!.... yyyiiiiiiiiIIIIIPPPE!!!.... *&^% !!! ....grumble...*

An entire week has gone by again without a DC! What has HAPPENED to me!? I've become... responsible? I think my work ethic has been restored. *slapping palm to forehead...* AAAnnnd... I'm HEALED!

Perhaps I've had writers block. *cringe* Did I just say writers block? jinx jinx!! Cross your fingers QUICK!

Phew. Scary moment passed...

I was recently introduced to playlist.com... Hello COOL-NESS. So now, instead of finding the song on YouTube (which most of us are blocked from at work... including myself... waaaaahhh!) I can post the song from Playlist. Thank you Auntie D! *GRIN*

Neverfear YouTube. You are still loved.

So...

I love my dawgs. I think I've mentioned this already... a time or two. They are sweet and loving and... giant brats. Well... I take that back. Cody is the "Good Son." Dooley? The "Black Sheep."

The beastie came close to breaking my wrist this weekend. At least it FELT like he did. I brought them to the groomer on Saturday morning and sang their praises. They did good getting in the car, waiting for me to get them out of the car, and didn't pull me into the building. SWEET. When I went to pick them up is another story...

Dooley was handed over to me and immediately made a beeline for the door. He was all like "I want to leave. NOW." Understood. Getting a once over from the groomer probably isn't all that pleasant. Especially since he LIKES being dirty. I have to watch him when I get home to be sure he doesn't go right to the back yard to roll in the dirt.

I had my grip on Cody, who will pull a little but not too bad. Dooley? As soon as the groomer opened the door for me ... jetted. His tail swishing as a "See ya suckers." And apparantly I wasn't ready. You know how in movies someone ties a rope to their ankle and just jumps? Without the other end being tied to something? Yeah... it was sort of like that... He WAS connected to me on the other end... I just wasn't prepared. He took off and my hand down past my wrist scraped along the side of the door... got stuck... then bent back. Got a lovely scrap and light bruise from that one. (not too bad considering how much it hurt)

So of course, I didn't let on to the groomer that I was hurt. Playing tough girl I spose. I just smiled and got the dogs in the car. I sat behind the wheel and started to see stars and spots from holding in the ooooOOOOOOWWWWWW!!! that wanted to come out the second it happened. Oy.

Funny movie clip...

More funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - March 31, 2008

2008-03-31T19:02:00.008-04:00

*singing*
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
He stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong a handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scotish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show

Ring-ding didle iidle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Around the bonnie star the scot's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see you've won first prize"

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize.
- Irish Rovers (The Drunk Scotsman)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAsraTQxmMg&feature=related

I learned something about beer. Now mind you, when I started drinking beer, I would only drink Mich Ultra (or something equally light). But now... after my pleasant experience with Sam Adams Light, my "thirst" for knowledge is "unquenchable." *snicker...giggle* Get it? thirst? Unquenchable? hahahahahaha! I crack myself up.

Anyway... I'm going to embarrass myself in front of the experienced beer drinkers, but here goes. It's embarrassing, but I'll admit it's funny, so I'll share.

I went to purchase Guinness the other day. Now I don't drink the heavy brew (unless it's an Irish Car Bomb... riiiight... I can't sip it, but I can chug it. Makes perfect sense...). Anyway, I know very little (turns out... nothing) about it.

Hmmm... Guinness Draught (note the spelling) or Guiness Extra Stout. Err on the side of caution, and go with the Draught.

Now. How is that spelled? Hm? Would you know that it is pronounced DRAFT? Yeah, I had no idea. And when I pronounced it ever so incorrectly, I was pointed and laughed at. A lot. (I shall not mention the box incident... even I have limits when it comes to humiliating myself publicly).

I stick my tongue out at your mockery.

I have now expanded to Yuengling and Sapporo as well. I've actually had those in the past, but for the most part stuck with my "safe" Mich Ultra. They are both equally delicious. Especially with sushi.

mmmMMMM... Raw fish... In the words of Gollum (you LOTR peeps know what I mean) .... "I like em rrrraw... and wrrrrriggling!" Yummy.

Speaking of food? (when am I NOT talking about food?) BBQ the other night? HOLY LOTS OF PORK BATMAN. It was so delicious... though I don't think I can look at pork for at least a month. I ate an entire plate of it... pulled, sliced, and ribs. OH MY!

Yeah, try asking for "pork 3 ways" and NOT mocked for asking to be porked three ways. Hm.

Funny stuff...

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an
oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they
stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise
and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person
one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what
the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps
His fingers, and it is done.

The second one I n line hears this and says "I want to
be gorgeous too" Another snap of His fingers and the
wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be
gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the
last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is
rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what
his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and
says:

"Make 'em all ugly again."

More funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - March 24, 2008

2008-03-23T20:57:00.003-04:00

*singing*
It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess
Considering everything's a mess.
There's a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk, but I'll just drive
It's colder than it looks outside.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone...then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on.
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.

Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Pinch Me
Pinch Me
Cos I'm still asleep.
Please God
Tell Me
That I'm still asleep

On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I Packed a car and leave this town
Who'll notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwear'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway.
It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.

Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Try to figure out what all this is for.
- Barenaked Ladies (Pinch Me)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=40pP24P3Ztk

Oh the first day at the new job. So scary! But SO exciting!! So laid back... so mellow... so... completely different from what I'm used to? Hm.

Seriously though... I'm pretty happy with my decision. At least from what I've seen so far. Oh and did I mention this place has a cafeteria? Fresh subs made right in front of you... breakfast... lunch... coffee (Starbucks baby...yeah!)... Cozy lunchroom to chill in. Fantastic. *GRIN*

I have to keep pinching myself. And keep myself from asking "what's the catch?" Oy. Let's not go THERE.

So we'll see how tomorrow goes. Today was just orientation. Tomorrow I get to meet everyone in my department, meet my desk, get the tour, etc. All the fun stuff! Then on to training. *gulp*

Well... nuff of that. Now on to another fabulous topic...

BEER.

I seriously dig a good burger and a beer. Throw smelly sauteed onions, mushrooms, cheese, and some bacon on the burger (which of course just walked up to my plate and keeled over)... greasy fries on the side... along with a frosty brew in front of me? And all is right with my world.

Now brace yourself for some mega advertising/plugging here.

I usually go for the Michelob Ultra Light (straight out of the bottle... I don't even try to pretend I'm a lady). Well... I tried a new beer this past weekend. And it was...

Sam Adams Light. YUM.

Oh stop. Yes, LIGHT. I go for the light beer or I won't be able to fit the burger and fries which are equally important (ok, beer still comes first but I want my cake and I want to eat it too... of course there is dessert after all this, duh). Beer fills you up and even though I can EAT, my belly is still a lady when it comes to the brew.

Mmmmm. Beer. Here is some good advice from the McKenzie brothers on how to score free beer. (watch Strange Brew. you will laugh. a lot.)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3H5hKZznc14

Another good movie tribute to beer. Beerfest. Again. Watch. Laugh.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ptejE9uCG7U

Funny stuff...

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - March 18-21, 2008

2008-03-19T11:19:00.013-04:00

*singing*
There were 10 in a bed and the little one said,
"Roll over! Roll over!"

Good luck getting this one out of your head. I've been humming it all week now. It creeps up on you... you won't know you're doing it until it's too late. Then... DOH!

I am thoroughly enjoying my vegging. It's fantastic... Movies, knitting, eating, reading, napping... These are a few of my favorite things. *GRIN*

However... did you ever find yourself enjoying a nice hot shower... only to run out of hot water? (who hasn't, right?) Talk about WAKE UP! That's another thing that creeps up on you. The water gradually gets colder... and you think you're just getting used to the hot water. Oh no... all of a sudden? Freezing cold water. And me screeching "Yaaa hoooo oooo ooo....!" like a cartoon character. Complete with a string of expletives that look like this... *&^% ... $#@! ... *@%$

I attempted to cook this week. You'd think with how much I love food I would do it more often. Does it count if it's out of a box? How about a can? Frozen? No? Hm.

Anyhoo... I made meatballs (yes, from scratch) that holy mackarel tasted delicious. Ever have a craving that you just have to satisfy? And how much of a let down it is if what you eat just doesn't... "do it?" Well... these "did it." Threw them in with some garlic bread and spaghetti (mixed with ricotta). DELICIOUS.

Don't worry. I stretched before patting myself on the back... so I didn't pull a muscle.

Now I'm trying to get inspired to bake. Peanut Butter Cookies. (yea-ya... WHAT?!) But my overwhelming sense of laziness is coming back.

I mean... I AM on "vacation." If you call this grace period a vacation (I most certainly do... and much needed time for sloth).

I start my new job on Monday. Oops... did I forget to mention that before? Yup. I have a new job. Super exciting! And scary. I mean... after 9 years at one place... going out into the unknown is a scary thing. But... 10 minutes from home, business casual (with jeans thrown in whenever), 10 minutes from home, a cafeteria, 10 minute drive... (seriously... it took me longer to park than it did to get there... and like two back roads with NO highway driving...). And a fabulous Italian bakery/deli right around the corner? *sigh* Note that two of these things are food related.

Off into the unknown folks. I'll sprinkle breadcrumbs so I can find my way back. And I shall, of course, want to share my adventures right here in The Daily Crazy.

Funny stuff...
(since I'm so behind on these... I figured dropping in the links would be a bit easier... well, and I'm lazy)

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/index.html

http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/

The Daily Crazy - March 13, 14 & 17 2008

2008-03-14T08:53:00.025-04:00

*singing*
So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long farewell, auf weidersehen adieu
Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you

So long farewell, au revior auf weidersehen
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne
Yes?
No

So long farewell, auf weidersehen goodnight
I leave and heave a sigh and say good bye - goodbyyyyyyeeeee!

I'm glad... to go.... I cannot tell a lie
I fleet, I float, I fleetly flee I fly...

The sun... has gone... to bed and so must I...

So long...farewell...auf weidersehen goodbye...
Goodbye...
Goodbye....
Goodbye....

Ah yes. Time to say goodbye.

I am no longer an employee at my company. It's over, FINALLY. Off to greener pastures.

Oh! And I can finally say it...

I WIN. After many battles... I have finally won the war. The satisfaction was totally worth the stress, sleepless nights, and twitchy days.

I am now on a one week vacation where I shall... turn into a vegetable. WOOT!

And... will celebrate...

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!!

Everyone... time for a pint and... an Irish Car Bomb. (Car Bomb's... YEAH!) Oooh that'll tickle your belly for sure.

Because I am so happy, I should be doing a jig. While swinging my shillelagh and whistling a cheery little tune...

I promised that once the time was right, I would sing this song... here goes...

hem hem.

*singing* "Ding dong, the witch is dead... which old witch? ... the wicked witch.. ding dong the wicked witch is deaaaaad."

What goes around, comes around. Petty (orange) spite = a tongue stuck out, a point, and a laugh from me. Along with my loud hoot of victory. (ok, so perhaps I am stooping a little here. But come on... after the mass amounts of BS a little "blowing off some steam" should be allowed... )

Now... what to do with all this free time? You poor dears... you're probably going to be bombarded with a whole lot of crazy coming from this general direction. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Funny stuff...

Get Fuzzy...

Over the Hedge...

Peanuts...

The Daily Crazy - March 11 & 12, 2008

2008-03-12T07:06:00.015-04:00

*singing*
Follow your heart
Your intuition
It will lead you in the right direction
Let go of your mind
Your Intuition
Is easy to find
Just follow your heart baby
- Jewel (Intuition)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM6HFt6--QI

So that's what you gotta do. Follow you heart, your intuition, and you're going the right way. (I've already let go of my mind... *GRIN*)

This week my sanity is being tested. I feel like the strings holding it together are busting... Hear em'? *neeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr BINK!... bink bink bink!* And the last one is being tweaked... oy.

Did you ever have something you want so bad... and it's sooooo close... you can almost smell it? taste it? feel it? That's my life story right now. Soon to be mine... but just outta my grasp. *grumble... expletive*

My poor dog (Cody Bear) senses it too. He's always following me around (my shadow) but now he's practically "become one" with me. I move, he moves. I stand in front of the sink, he squeezes between me and the sink. He's brought a whole new meaning to "under foot." I have to be so careful on the stairs now. I've almost taken a few bad tumbles. *grimace* And I've stepped on him so many times I'm surprised he hasn't cut it out.

Now that's loyalty... he doesn't care what it takes to give comfort. He'd rather be stepped all over than have his momma alone and in pain. Now everyone say it.... Aaawwwwww.

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - March 7 & 10, 2008

2008-03-06T14:56:00.015-05:00

*singing*
Don't you wanna go for a ride -
Just keep your hands inside,
And make the most out of life.
Now don't you take it for granted

Life is like a mean machine,
It made a mess outta me,
It left me caught between -
Like an angry dream, I was stranded.
I was stranded.

And I'm steady, but I'm starting to shake (starting to shake),
And I don't know how much more I can take -

Well this is it, now,
Everybody get down
This is all -
I can take.
This is how a heart breaks.
You take a hit now -
you feel it,
break down.
Make you stay -
wide awake.
This is how a heart breaks.
- Rob Thomas (This is How a Heart Breaks)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=b2vAPgQCpzQ

Do you know how frustrating it is to want to talk about something, but you can't? UGH.

All I can say is... there is a battle raging folks... and I'm determined to win the war. That's all I can say.

On another subject, as for my weekend... I am heartbroken. I lost a lot of my dearest friends... My books.

I LOVE books. I love being surrounded by them. I go to Borders and I am like a kid in a candy shop... (or rather... like myself in a candy shop... hm). I can't walk out of there without spending a ridiculous amount of money so I try to limit my visits. I can read them over and over... I just love having them be mine. I guess you can call me a book collector.

My beautiful books were flooded and left to rot for a month. I had no reason to think they would have gotten wet. *sigh* And of course, all the ones ruined were my favorites... and hardcover. Old Stephen King, Anne Rice, Dean Koontz, Karen Marie Moning (I had her entire collection... until now)... among others. Thank GOODNESS my Harry Potter books were in a different place.

So I am devastated at the loss... but I'll just work on building up my collection again. There's always a bright side.

On another brighter note... (see?)...

I finally finished the Harley Scarf I was knitting for this Harley rider I know... ;)

I knitted it lengthwise on circular needles... for the first time ever and no mistakes! However... it is the longest scarf known to man. It was supposed to be about 5.5-6ft long and turned out to be... over 8ft long... Ooops. Careful not to get the ends caught up in the back tire! That could go wrong REAL fast...

*la la la... riding along, riding along... la la la... gaaackk!.... *&^%...rrrrrRRR!... thump... thump thump...CRASH...*

Funny stuff from the past few days...

Get Fuzzy...

Over the Hedge...

Peanuts...

The Daily Crazy - March 6, 2008

2008-03-06T09:00:00.011-05:00

*singing*
When it's not always raining
there'll be days like this
When there's noone complaining
there'll be days like this
Everything falls into phase
like the flick of a switch
Well my momma told me
there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry
there'll be days like this
When noone's in a hurry
there'll be days like this
When you don't get betrayed
by that old Judas kiss
Oh my momma told me
there'll be days like this

When you don't need an answer
there'll be days like this
When you don't meet a chancer
there'll be days like this
When all the parts of the puzzle
start to look like they fit
Then I must remember
there'll be days like this

When everyone is upfront
and they're not playing tricks
When you don't have no freeloaders
out to get their kicks in
When it's nobody's business
the way that you wanna live
I just have to remember
there'll be days like this

When noone steps on my dreams
there'll be days like this
When people understand what I mean
there'll be days like this
When you bring out the changes
of how everything is
Well my momma told me
there'll be days like this

Oh my momma told me
there'll be days like this
- Van Morrison (Days Like This)

http://sonkind.vodpod.com/video/851819-van-morrison-days-like-this

Good grief. It's torture in this building. Two words to sum it up: Lonely & Depressing. I got up this morning, threw myself together in a semi-cheerful mood, I got here and...

All the happiness was just SUCKED right outta me. (Are there dementors around? Tee hee... Only you Harry Potter geeks know what that means *wink*)

Well... the good news is this is official decision day. The mind and heart know what they want... now just gotta get the ball rolling. PHEW! One thing checked off the list...

Holy life changes Batman.

Anyway... I have another theory I would like to share with you...

If you think about it, it counts.

Yup. You heard/read me right.

I like salad bars and buffets. A LOT. However... I'm somewhat of a germophobe. I don't even like doing my laundry at laundromats... even though the idea of the machine is to clean your clothes... the thought of my laundry touching some strangers dirty laundry? GACK.

I digress...

Even being this way... my love of food surpasses my fear of germs. And when you throw all different choices at once in front of me? And I can have a little of each? (yum yum... chinese buffet...) ... HELLO HEAVEN.

So. My theory is... if you do not think of the germs, how long the food has been sitting out (especially for salad bars), etc.... they do not exist.

This goes the other way too you know... if you think about wanting to do the laundry, it counts. At least you THOUGHT about it. The want is there... therefore that counts as effort.

Again. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. Denial is a powerful medicine in such emergencies.

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - March 4-5, 2008

2008-03-04T15:12:00.024-05:00

*singing*
Look out your window
That grass ain't green
It's kinda yellow
See what I mean?

Look up your chimney
The sky ain't blue
It's kinda yellow
You know it's true

(It's so hard to figure what it's all about)
When your outsides in (inside out)
And your downsides up (upside down)
Yeah, your upsides right (rightside up)
Yeah, don't it make you wanna twist and shout
When you're inside out

Look down your drain pipe
What color do you see?
It's got to be yellow
Don't try to fool me

(And don't it make you wanna twist and shout)
When your outsides in (inside out)
And your downsides up (upside down)
Yeah, your upsides right (rightside up)
Yeah, don't it make you wanna twist and shout
When you're inside out

Be careful where you're walking
You might step in something rough
Be careful where you're talking
And saying all that stuff

Take care when you are breathing
Something's funny in the air
And some things I'm not saying
'bout what's happening out there
It's inside out

Look into the future
With your mystic crystal ball
See if it ain't yellow
See if it's there at all

(Ain't no shadow or a doubt)
(Don't it make you wanna twist and shout)
When your outsides in (inside out)
And your downsides up (upside down)
Yeah, your upsides right (rightside up)
Yeah, don't it make you wanna twist and shout
When you're inside out
(Inside out)
(Right side up)
Yeah, don't it make you wanna twist and shout
When you're inside out
- Traveling Wilburys (Inside Out)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKu31q9SBbA

I first have to yet again apologize for bailing on everyone. Lots going on so you may see breaks here and there in the DC. But no worries. I shall be back to bore you with my silly more often than not. *GRIN*

Back to business...

I see I'm on a Wilburys kick now... though I couldn't pass it up. This is the PERFECT song for today. Don't be yellow... take a RISK. Does it make me feel like I want to explode with sheer nervous terror? Of course.

However, what risk do I take? What PATH when there are three? One is pretty demn lousy so we'll cast that aside. (that's the one in all the movies that always looks horribly scary, smells, and has mass amounts of fog and old scary trees).

Demmit three choices. Rut ro... Warning!

*singing* "Three little maids from school ARE we...."

Oh that was so mean of me.... *giggling with evil glee*

So now two... I go this way... and x... I go this way ... and y. And there are so many things (good and bad) that COULD happen either way. AAaahhhhh!!! There is a nickname for me and it is called (George) Buggin.

SHAKE IT OFF. Blah bllleeegghhh. Buururrrrrrr.... Whoosh. Mo bettah.

Ok so...

I have this theory. I recently "set up shop" in the other side of my basement. Little card table, my puter, knitting, tv, treadmill in case I feel like walking in place (*snicker*), and my dogs. Nice, isn't it?

Hm. Now we all know, from my many bug out (hahahahahah!) stories that I hate spiders. And that there are many... large, hairy, creepy beasties in my basement. So why on EARTH would I want to hang out down there?

Well... my theory. They won't come into the finished part of the basement. Nope. Why? Cuz it's finished. Carpet, walls, paint, etc. The big hairy buggers don't like that. Why? Dunno, but they don't.

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff from this week...

Get Fuzzy...

Over the Hedge...

Peanuts...

The Daily Crazy - March 3, 2008

2008-03-02T14:02:00.012-05:00

*singing*
Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, doing the best you can
Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring (End of the Line)
Waiting for someone to tell you everything (End of the Line)
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring (End of the Line)
Maybe a diamond ring

Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it's all right, As long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it's all right, everyday is Judgment Day

Maybe somewhere down the road aways (End of the Line)
You'll think of me, wonder where I am these days (End of the Line)
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays (End of the Line)
Purple haze

Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love
Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive (End of the Line)
I'm glad to be here, happy to be alive (End of the Line)
It don't matter if you're by my side (End of the Line)
I'm satisfied

Well it's all right, even if you're old and gray
Well it's all right, you still got something to say
Well it's all right, remember to live and let live
Well it's all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, even if the sun don't shine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line
- Traveling Wilburys (End of the Line)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSL4Eqpm9l4

I had plenty of songs running through my melon (one being Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust") ... but this one fits the best. It's the end of the line, but it's alright. *wink*

It was a very interesting day on Friday. Hence, no blog. *grimace* The whistling boulder finally dropped on our heads.

Lots more people let go (and/or given a 2 week vacation... I am ridiculously jealous of ye who will remain unnamed... but I want to HUG you with happiness and congrats... *GRIN*), some given a temp position to stay on with the company until it fades out, some given a temp position with the new company, and very few given an offer to go off with the new company permanently.

Even with some of this being good news... it was a sad day. Survivor's Guilt at being left behind. Especially when I don't understand why. I think it was cheaper to do so ... (severance vs. 2 weeks pay) But still. It would have actually done me a favor demmit. *grumble... expletive*

I was one of very few given a permanent offer to go with the new company. I cannot deny that I am both relieved and elated. But it's a rough few weeks ahead. Nothing is definite at this point ... and it won't be for another two weeks. So I am going to be purple from holding my breath in anticipation.

OK, nuff said on the crazy stressful front. Now on to some very good solid advice.

Never EVER get on the treadmill if you have to go to the bathroom. Even at the slightest HINT. And drinking water while on it, just makes it worse. (insert the very loud "DUH" here)

Holy mackarel.

Try doing the pee-pee dance while walking in place at a good clip. Such a bad idea...

However, me being stubborn, I had to at least go for the full 20 minutes (though I've been going longer... just because... inside joke... *snicker*)

I made it... barely... and I don't think I've ever bounded up the basement steps faster once I was done. Ha! I win.

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 28, 2008

2008-02-27T15:20:00.011-05:00

*singing*
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me
- KT Tunstall (Suddenly I See)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tlU-1u1JC8&feature=related

I am on a KT Tunstall kick this week...

Best of Hammy from Over the Hedge below... He reminds me of me when I'm on caffeine... *GRIN*

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9Ob0MtlMzTw

This is going to be me ALL DAY. Because ... yet again... I must ... WAIT!

I have developed a new knot in my shoulder. That I shall fondly call... "work related stress." My new friend. Camping out on my shoulder. And I shall call him George.

sigh.

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 27, 2008

2008-02-27T11:59:00.008-05:00

*singing*
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)

Well my heart knows me better than I know myself
So I'm gonna let it do all the talking.
I came across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a big black horse and a cherry tree.
*****
But I said no, no, no, no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me
No, no, no, no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me
- KT Tunstall (Black Horse and the Cherry Tree)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fykZ3PymMo

It's Wednesday. Yup. Do I know any more today than I did Monday?

NOPE.

However, there are a few things I know for sure that I don't want. As the song says... no no no... you're not the one for me...

Then... what does this mean? Which one WILL be for me? I have a few options... but all loose ends... And again... if this, than this... ARG.

I decided to pack up my office today. It's time to clean house.

I couldn't believe the amount of... stuff... I've collected since I've been here. I've been back about 8 years so that's a lot of time for knick-knack pile-ups. Oh and I have not one, but THREE boxes of Christmas stuff. I'm not playin when it comes to holiday cheer.

So I don't have much to tell you today other than that. Perhaps tomorrow? I hope I hope I hope....

Movie Clip...

I highly recommend this movie ... "Because I Said So" You laugh, you cry, you sigh... All good things.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aUE8gHEPJ_I

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 26, 2008

2008-02-26T06:52:00.011-05:00

*singing*
I am the bad one,
Distant and cruel one,
I am the dream that,
Keeps you running down,
With distraction,
Violent reaction,
Scars of my actions,
Watch me running out,

Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects
- Rob Zombie (The Devil's Rejects)

I know, crazy song. But I almost used Dragula, Living Dead Girl, or Superbeast... and then you would have run away screaming. Trust me. (or all hunted me down with pitchforks... while I run to the nearest church crying "Santuary! Sanctuary!")

Whoosh... I've lost it.

Anyhoo...

So have any of you ever tried Almond Butter? It's like natural Peanut Butter... but with... well with Almonds. (right... insert "stating the obvious" here) Hellooooooo delicious. I am completely addicted to it. Though... it's ridiculous expensive. I swear, it's like $12 for one jar of it. Oy. But you slather some of it on a whole wheat eggo and throw some dried cranberries on top? Good grief. I cannot express quite how delicious that is.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way...

Some Funny-Ness for you... how to be... oh, nice?.... I'll give it a whirl. Note how "subtle" I am. I seriously couldn't resist. I have to talk about this...

My dog eats cigarette butts. Why? Who knows. His need for a "fix?"

When they originally started to disappear, it was suggested to me that "small animals might be carrying them away... you know, to use for nesting..." RIGHT. *cough*

Anyway, I caught my dog in the act and immediately put the kibosh on it. Let's face it, that CAN'T be good for him. I'll have to put him on the patch for crying out loud. (this is ... of course... Dooley I'm talking about here).

For some reason unknown to me... which must stem from a complete lack of all sense in this brief "shining" moment... the cigarette butts started reappearing... unbeknownst to me... I mean, why on EARTH would there be a repeat of this? No worries... Hm.

I let the dog out ... and where does he go? Directly to the butts to start chomping away. (needless to say, it is so gross to watch I nearly lost my breakfast).

I tell you. Madness.

Movie Clip...

I Tivo'd Army of Darkness the other day and started watching it while getting ready for work this morning. This movie is hilarious. (original being Evil Dead)

"You found me beautiful once... " "Well honey, you got real ugly."

"Clatu... verata... ne *cough cough cough*"

"Groovy."

"Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ITKHcY-q90M

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 25, 2008

2008-02-25T13:33:00.016-05:00

*singing*
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me...
- Judy Garland as Dorothy (The Wizard of Oz)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=o79415DcXYM

A nice mellow song... things are going to be major crazy this week. So ... like the song says, somewhere over the rainbow... skies are blue... and troubles melt like lemon drops... Good solid advice folks. (I know... I sound like I'm like... 5. whatever. I stick my tongue out at you in defiance and sing along...)

I also love Katrhine McPhee's version of this song from American Idol. Hence the clip...

So I abandoned you guys on Friday for my snow day. For all of you who had to go to work? *snicker* I feel soooo bad *giggle* for ... *snort* you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I had a pajama's, knitting, movie, and peanut butter jelly time. *GRIN* I actually ventured out for Saladworks cuz I was craving their Chicken Pot Pie soup and a super sized buffalo chicken salad (which holy mackarel... their soup is delicious).

I watched Good Luck Chuck for the first time and laughed my behind off. It's definitely a "guy" movie, but the physical comedy is great. Jessica Alba walking face first into a pole? Come on. You gotta laugh at that. (I'm horrible... don't be nice to me... I laugh at pain...)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aEg4GQK5k7w

Lots of funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 21, 2008

2008-02-21T10:00:00.008-05:00

*singing*
Say your prayers little one
Don`t forget my son
To include everyone
I tuck you in
Warm within
Keep you free from sin
'til the sandman he comes

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
off to never never-land
....
Hush little baby don't say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It's just the beasts under your bed
In your closet and in your head

Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand...
Exit light
Enter Night
Take my hand!
We're off to never never-land

Boom

- Metallica (Enter Sandman)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRYDetbwegs

WOO HOO!!! I am A W A K E ! I blared this song on the way to work today. I chose loud metal vs. a cup o' joe. Trust me... it works.

I like to turn my tunes up to the "give you a headache... but just below migraine" notch.

I needed a good pick me up. What better way than jamming to your tunes in the morning? Granted, a cup of coffee might do the same thing... but then I would have to run laps around the building to help tone the caffeine down a bit. And it's cold outside today.... so... no thanks.

Anyhoo...

So... not only am I "to be continued..." I have many twists and turns. The plot thickens says she...

So many "if's!" If this, than this... but this could happen too or instead, so than this... oh and than neither could happen so if that happens than this. My head is going to start spinning and I shall spew pea soup.

I feel like a giant "if / than" statement. *sigh* (you computer geeks or excel dorks know what I mean)

On a brighter note...

I'm getting hints about a winter storm tomorrow... WOOT! Can you say... SNOW DAY!?

Oh I do believe in fairies... *clap clap clap* I do believe in fairies... wait. That's Peter Pan... What do you do when you want it to snow? Will a rain dance work? Oh come on people... it's cold enough out where the rain dance should make it snow. No? Hm.

Wait... dont' go... I'm just high on life! I swear!

Movie clips...

Have you ever seen the movie "Willow" ... if not, you should... classic with Val Kilmer. His reaction to the creature is hilarious. I want that creature for a pet... "and I shall call him George"... (oooh he breathes fire... S'mores!)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0vn573vGZlQ&feature=related

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 20, 2008

2008-02-20T11:06:00.015-05:00

*singing*
"I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

Second verse same as the first

I'm Henry the eighth I am..."
- Herman's Hermits (Henry VIII)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9zH9Ozoo0hg

I haven't hit everyone with this one in quite some time. It was definitely overdo. Again, as always, you're welcome. *Cheshire cat GRIN*

Actually... this is a great song to sing over and over again in your head when you're nervous.

Speaking of reasons to be nervous... If I hear "you'll know next week" one more time I'm gonna lose it. Baaaahhhhhh!!! Hmmm.... starting to sound like a sheep on crack. Baaad news...

Me now.

Me by the end of next week...

Movie Quotes... (I watched this movie like 10 times in the last week so... surprise, surprise... )

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

- Jack Burton in "Big Trouble in Little China" (Kurt Russell)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bF-tKPILEB4

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 19, 2008

2008-02-19T10:19:00.011-05:00

*singing*
Into the great wide open,
Under them skies of blue
Out in the great wide open,
A rebel without a clue
- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers (Into the Great Wide Open)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y-gVVGD7j3E

Oh... what... you guys didn't have off yesterday for President's day? HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I point at you and laugh with uncontained GLEE!

I'm horrible. Tee hee... I love it.

So, yeah... I was hoping for some news. Good or bad... just gimme. But sometimes more news... is no news at all. Ever have that happen? It's not good news when there is a "but"... it's just ... OUT THERE.

Unfortunately... more waiting for me. SIGH. Grumble. For at least another week or so.

WWAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

I feel like an episode that has just been "To be continued..." ARG.

So I'll say it ... seeing as to how it is so fitting at this time... TO BE CONTINUED.

Stay tuned folks... And soon... very soon... I will not have to be so cryptic... At least... so I hope. duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuh....

Funny stuff...

Employers were asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates:

"What is it that you people do at this company?"

"What is the company motto?"

"Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"

"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"

"Why do you want references?"

"Do I have to dress for the next interview?"

"I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"

"Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"

"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"

"Does your health insurance cover pets?"

"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"

"Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 14-15, 2008

2008-02-14T14:44:00.021-05:00

*singing*
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please dont break it
Love was made for me and you
- Nat King Cole (L-O-V-E)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
(yesterday)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JErVP6xLZwg

*looking ever so humble...* Sorry folks. With the anticipation of good or bad news... I took a lil' vacation from the DC yesterday.

*grumble...expletive*... here we go again... *singing* "vacation all I ever wanted... vacation, had to get away..." This one'll be just as bad as "try to get me go to rehab and I said noo no no..." Wait. OH MAN. *&^$

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day! (mmmm... chocolate... yum yum...)

As I sit here, I am waiting ever so patiently for the phone to ring... And every time it does? I swear my heart bounces up to my throat. And there are claw marks in the ceiling.

Not the call I was looking for... yet. BLAST! demmit.

Soon. Ever so soon. I can see the answer I seek on the horizon. *sniff.. sniff* I can SMELL it. I can hear good... wait no, bad... wait, good... news...

I feel like I should be sittin' in a field full o' daisies pluckin' petals. "they like me... they like me not... they like me... they like me not..."

Funny stuff...

I was driving along in my car, when my boss rang up and said: "You've been promoted." That made me swerve a bit.

Then he rang up a second time and said: "You've been promoted again." I swerved even more.

When he rang a third time and said: "You're now managing director," I went into a ditch.

A policeman came up and asked: "What happened to you?"

I replied: "I careered off the road."

Two days of more funny...

The Daily Crazy - February 13, 2008

2008-02-13T09:58:00.011-05:00

*singing*
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de

PRESSURE
pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
UNDER PRESSURE -
that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's o.k.

It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets
Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba
O.k.

Under pressure
Under pressure
PRESSURE
- Queen feat. David Bowie (Under Pressure)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UdaHCLlBkWU

Oh so true... so true... UNDER PRESSURE.

Today is THE DAY. The day that I do "my thing." I have to shine, stand out, be the man... I mean woman... I mean person (let's be P.C. here).

All I can say to myself is... DON'T CRACK! *insert look of absolute horror here*

I just have to be myself. That's key. Don't try to be what I think they want - be who I am.

Ok... maybe I should tone it down a little... I don't want to frighten anyone with my crazy. *grimace*

Funny stuff...

Did you hear about the two men who were stopped by the police for being drunk and disorderly?
It turned out that the first had been drinking battery acid and the second had been swallowing fireworks. One was charged and the other was let off.

A ragged piece of string went into a pub and asked for a drink. "Are you over 18?" asked the barman. "No," replied the string, "I'm a frayed knot."

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 12, 2008

2008-02-12T09:48:00.000-05:00

*singing*
I saw a rainbow earlier today
Lately those rainbows be comin' round like everyday
Deep in the struggle I have found the beauty of me
God is watchin and the devil finally let me be
Here in this moment to myself
I'm gonna vibe with no one else
There is a conversation I need to have with me
It's just a moment to myself
- Macy Gray (Moment to Myself)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Pp1DTaTaqdw

Just need a moment to... ponder the present.

I'll admit it... I've been stressin' a bit lately folks. You know when you put your shoes on the wrong feet? How... you can usually get them on... but they don't feel quite right? But you got them on your feet... that's half the battle.

That's life at the moment. My shoes are on the wrong feet... and I'm feeling things aren't quite right. Though I know I am on the right path... cuz at least I got them on.

Ooooh... look who's all philosophical today.

Well... things have a way of working out. I wish that patience was one of my virtues... *sheepish grin*

Funny stuff...

Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail , and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away."

Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 11, 2008

2008-02-11T10:54:00.000-05:00

*singing*
They tried to make me go to rehab
I said no, no, no.
Yes I been black, but when I come back
You wont know, know, know.

I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks im fine
He’s tried to make me go to rehab
I wont go, go, go.
- Amy Winehouse (Rehab)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RKVbgkfFygY

Ok... This song has nothing to do with my life or this blog WHAT-SO-EVAH. However. It is most firmly lodged in my cranium. And it won't. go. AWAY.

And it won't go, go, go... DEMMIT!

And I said nooo, nooo, no. *&^% !

I am extremely cranky. Not only do I have this song stuck... that I don't even LIKE by the way... I have this strange feeling about today. I've had it all weekend. And therefore.... BING! You got it. No sleep for me.

I kind of look like.... well... like this...

Frightening... I know. Tell me about it.

So, basically I'm running on sheer will and caffeine.

I think someone is going to have to peel me off the ceiling soon...

Anyhoo... I digress...

All I can say is... I think the end is near. At least I can see the boulder coming. I'm just not smart enough to step out of the way. Or like in the cartoons, I'm stepping to the side, but it's gonna hit me anyway.

To ponder...

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 8, 2008

2008-02-08T10:33:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
- Sarah Mclachlan (Fallen)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMuEw-9t9Xs

Oh Happy Friday... how I've missed you so...

So it's the end of another painful drawn out week. It would put a root canal to shame.

I feel like I should be holding up a sign that says "The End is Near." It's coming... I can hear the whistle of the boulder...

Just please... land on my head, lemme go SPLAT! (complete with cartoon sign) ... and go on my merry way. Because folks... the suspense is killing me.

I feel like.... well... like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPz-j3bfq3E

Not only that... I am starting to think my house will never sell. Frankly, the thing has bad karma. It has been through 3 divorces. And each time it has been on the market... it takes forever to sell. I almost feel bad passing it on to someone. The curse must be broken! Exorcist? Exorcise the demons OUT. (OOoh... I could go somewhere with this... however... I am trying VERY hard to behave... I'm feeling like a nasty little sprite at the moment so I'll move on...).

Anyhoo...

This weekend... time to party it up! Drink, dance, and be merry ... but not necessarily in that order. All at once is preferable.

Funny stuff...

Another new Illness to watch out for...

Anal Glaucoma.

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 7, 2008

2008-02-07T09:55:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Well, we´ve been driving this road
For a mighthy long time
Payin' no mind to the signs
Well this neighborhood's changed
It's all been rearranged
We left that dream somewhere behind

Slow down, you´re gonna crash
Baby you were screaming
It's a blast, blast, blast
Look out babe you got your blinders on
Everybodys looking for a way
To get real gone, real gone
Real Gone
- Sheryl Crow (Real Gone)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwJlWGnhODM

So after yesterday's DC ... all I keep thinking about is the movie... "Cars" And Guido.... saying...

PITSTOP

Funny... *GRIN* I know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuu8KR4AB5o

Have I mentioned that I am addicted to the game Zuma? Seriously addicted. (go to MSN games... me with the plugs, I swear... you'd think I'd get paid for it but noooooo... ) And once I start playing it, I can't stop until I beat it.

Well, I finally beat it again. But...

I discovered... the Gauntlet.... which you keep playing to get a high score... so you can play... du du duuuuuuuuuuu.... FOREVER.

Oh good grief Charlie Brown. I'm done for.

Funny stuff...

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1 .. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't .
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke .
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder .
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe .
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up!!!!
18 Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken .
24 .. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music .
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 6, 2008

2008-02-06T07:31:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Who's to say
What's impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything
And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There's no stopping curiosity

I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
I don't want this feeling to go away

Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem

I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste
Well it all keeps spinning spinning round and round and

Upside down
Who's to say what's impossible and can't be found
I don't want this feeling to go away

Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Is this how it's supposed to be
Is this how it's supposed to be
- Jack Johnson (Upside Down)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pNlmn7vbXBQ

Hmmm... someone (and you know who you are) has this as their ringtone ... and I've been humming it since yesterday. I'll raise you your ringtone, and give you a Daily Crazy YouTube clip! HA!

Ok, I wasn't going to give up this "Secret" (you'll see the pun later in the story... and yet another plug) but I feel it is my duty to share. I'm going to COMPLETELY humiliate myself here... But methinks it's worth it. Be prepared to point and laugh at me.

So the other day... I was in a pretty stressful situation. And I had to somehow manage to compose myself and stay cool, calm, and collected.

Well... I have this problem. Not only do I blotch and turn bright red under pressure... but the body heat rises, I get hot under the collar, and... well my body and my dress shirt don't see eye to eye. Ok, I know, not very "girly." But hey. You'll thank me later for embarrasing myself/sacrificing my dignity.

So, wearing a nice dress shirt + too hot + nervous = disaster. No matter if you have an undershirt on. You're still destined for catastrophe.

I could not have this as a worry. I was already worried enough about turning into a full-body Rudolph.

What's that I smell? FEAR.

I have discovered two things that remedy the situation:

1) Secret Prescription Strength deodorant. AWESOME. (here's that plug... CHA CHING! change please)

2) Keep your old socks. Drape one end of the sock down the arm of the shirt, and tuck the other end inside the short sleeve of your undershirt, or, let's face it, I'm beyond modesty now... girls, tuck it in the side of your bra. If you're wearing a jacket, no one will ever know they are there. Just make sure they are long socks! You don't want to be walking along and all of a sudden have a sock fall outta your shirt... This puts a good barrier between you and the dress shirt material. Believe it or not, once upon a time, there was actually something that was produced for just this reason (I have dubbed them... Pit Pads).

Hey, seriously. This saved my LIFE. Wait... don't go... Modesty... come back!

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 5, 2008

2008-02-04T17:18:00.000-05:00

*singing*
I know you believe in me
That's all I ever need. Uh-huh
No no, nothin's gonna stop it
Nothin' will discourage me. Oh, no

Hey baby, uh-it's the only way out
Oh, little darlin', now come on
What's it all about?

Standin' on top of the world
For a little while
Standin' on top of the world
Gonna give it all we got

- Van Halen (Top of the World)

Oy. Stress.

However, lil' Miss Confidence here may have done a good job yesterday. Hence the song... I'm on top of the world! RELIEVED! Thank you Alka Seltzer. (yet another plug... CHA CHING!...who's on a roll this week?) And I must give some props to my good pal cabernet.

So I finish my stressful part of the day yesterday. I relax in my living room with a big ol' glass o' vino... and get to knitting. Aaahhh... this is the... *sniff sniff*... life... *SNIFF* What the... ?

Let me tell you something. The dog (Dooley, of course) let one loose that I swear could clear a building in mere seconds. And you had no idea it was coming... He appeared to be sound asleep. And no sound... It was the epitome of SBD. OH the horrible-ness of it. My eyes were watering (both from the smell and from laughing so hard...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ71ksxCzIs

It gets better.

So... finally the air clears... and I'm back in peaceful mode. Dooley rouses himself and saunters off to the kitchen. I hear him whining by the back door... but I just let him out so I wait a minute to see if he'll settle down. (sometimes he'll do that just because...)

Well... this was no "just because." Because... I hear... the sound. No, not the one you think. It sounded like... well like a plunger working on a particularly stubborn clog. Then... SPLLLLLAAAAAT.

Yup. Yuked all over the kitchen floor. Dooley wasn't having a very good day. Apparantly, the new treats I gave him didn't ... agree? ... with him.

The smell. The mess. The horror.

Needless to say those treats went straight to the garbage post haste.

Funny movie quote...

I found an old favorite of mine yesterday ... Bye Bye Love (with Matthew Modine, Paul Reiser, and Randy Quaid). Too cute!

This line had me cracking up... Matthew Modine's sun catches him and his girlfriend... um... compromised...

"Dad?"
"Ben. Ben my son. How are you?"
"Dad, what were you doing to her?"
"We were trying on clothes. Lots of clothes. Different kinds of clothes."

hahahahah! Nice save.

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 4, 2008

2008-02-02T18:18:00.000-05:00

*singing*
The right stuff
The right stuff
First time was a great time
Second time was a blast
Third time I fell in love
Now I hope it lasts
I can see it in your walk
Tell ’em when you talk
See it in everything you do
Even in your thoughts

You got the right stuff, baby
Love the way you turn me on
You got the right stuff, baby
You’re the reason why I sing this song
All that I needed was you
Oh girl, you’re so right
Said all that I wanted was you
You made all my dreams come true

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
The right stuff
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
The right stuff
- New Kids on the Block (The Right Stuff)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmz8ygxruoc

Um... did I hear this right? Nooo... No way. Uh uh. Can't be.

The New Kids on the Block are making a... comeback? WHAT?! Madness!

It's true... I read it on Yahoo! Music so you can stop laughing at me now. I swear I'm not an NKOTB follower. *grimace* I WAS, but no longer. Oh come on. What teenage girl in the late 80's/early 90's wasn't? Thank you.

Anyhoo... Let's hope that today I hear that I have the right stuff. (can I BE any more cryptic? I know... I have to be at the moment... all will be explained later, no worries!)

The Super Bowl. The only time that I watch television and look forward to the commercials.

The one that stood out the most? Careerbuilder.com where the heart pops outta the girls chest, waltzes into her bosses office, and says (complete with little sign) I QUIT! (hahahahahahah!! I know... the sarcasm is back today... oy)

http://www.careerbuilder.com/tv/?sc_cmp1=JS_Splash_TV

As I pick out my favorites, I'll probably post... so beware... Though it's gonna be tough to beat careerbuilder.com (*snicker...* oh the irony...)

Insert quick topic change here...

Why is it, on such an important day, that the Fates frown upon me? I'm taking my shower, as I do every day, and I'm washing my face. With Ivory Soap (quick plug CHA CHING!)... why is it, on this day, I get water directly UP my nose... and Ivory decides to travel with it?

I'm surprised I'm not blowing bubbles. I'm STILL tasting Ivory in the back of my throat. UGH. Pttooooeeee.

Funny stuff...

Maxine was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up toward heaven, she said, 'Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up sex and tequila.'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

She looked up again and said, 'Never mind. I found one.'

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - February 1, 2008

2008-02-01T10:49:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,
It was love from above, that could save me from hell,
She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,
how the devil himself could be pulled out of me,
There were drums in the air as she started to dance,
Every soul in the room keeping time with there hands,
And we sang…

Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And the voices rang like the angels sing,
And singing…
Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And we danced on into the night,
Ay oh ay oh,
Ay oh ay oh,
And we danced on into the night...
- Santana & Nickelbacks Chad Kroeger (Into the Night)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QrgMNpe8_eE

A good Friday dance along song. Enjoy!

This morning... I'll set the scene...

I'm in a peaceful, passed out, slumber... when...

WAKE UP CALL!!!!

My cell phone goes off... reminding me that it's time to get up and I have to go to work today. Hrumph.

*squint... turn the light on... flinch... blink... blink*

WHY is that ice pick *tink tink tink* picking at my brain?

Oh yes... now I remember...

It was that last drink... the Mudslide Martini (which was DELICIOUS by the way)...

UGH. The light seems a shade too bright... the music a tad too loud... the dogs breath a bit smellier than usual...

Yup. Hangover. Oy.

Me this morning...

I'm not very smart. I started with a few glasses of red wine before that martini. The thought of that mix in my belly? Blegh. ACK! Pttoooeeee.

But last night? I had a blast! And it seemed like a fantastic idea at the time. (this was also after consuming some hummus and a giant bowl of chili... which were also ohmygoodness delicious)

Scuse me... need a moment... I ... think... I'm gonna... hurl...

Phew. Moment passed.

Kickin' myself.

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 31, 2008

2008-01-31T13:47:00.000-05:00

*singing*
She got a shack
Floating down the Pontchartrain
With the water rolling in
You gotta swim
before the levees start to crack

Another day
Another dollar down the drain
You go to town
No one's around
Cause if you drown
there ain't no hope for coming back

It ain't no big thing if you lose your faith
They kinda like to keep you in your place
You never know what might be coming your way

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
Money's got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

You go to church
and pray to God for no more rain
A Cadillac
A paper sack
well hey there Jack
you want some bourbon for the pain

Hey tambourine
Ain't no rhythm on the street

With the voodoo
What do you do
when the radio just plays on anyway?

Those crazy fingers in your jelly jar
They'll jack your money
while you sleep in you car
They got the karma
they ain't getting too far

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
My money's got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Everybody come together
Everybody come together
Everybody come together
Everybody come together

Yeah everybody
Devil take your money
Money got no hold on me
Oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Oh everybody
Devil take your money
Money got no hold of me
oh oh everybody's making love
cause love is free

Love is free
Love is free
- Sheryl Crow (Love is Free)

Love Is Free Lyrics

I totally dig this song. Sheryl Crow is awesome. Another good one? "First Cut is the Deepest."

Anyhoo... (I apologize in advance for the mass amounts of sarcasm in today's blog... I really could not help myself...)

I have this... problem.

I turn red at the drop of a hat. Not always out of embarassment per se (there are some that have helped toughen me up a bit... I thank them for that here...)

I get nervous, embarrassed, even extremely happy.... BRIGHT RED. Also, I drink, and I'm a blotchy mess.

It starts with little red spots on my chest and neck... Seem harmless enough.... I start to heat up and I feel hot under the collar.... the little spots turn into giant red patches... that creep up my neck to my face...

It has gotten so bad that I've broken out in hives. When I was promoted to my current position, I developed a huge hive-welt on my cheek (and I was HAPPY). DISASTER. Thankfully, my boss knew my tendency to grow blotchy and understood.

Doesn't that sound.... HOT? I'm a looker folks. I can't play poker... forget it. You can see my "tell" from a mile away.

This is actually pretty bad. I'm concerned. It shows how wound up I am... A little, high strung shall we say? Twitchy? Solution... must knit more. Find a happy little stone cottage in my head and BREATHE.

Can you imagine me on... oh, let's say... an interview?

Can't IMAGINE why I would think interview first... *cough... sniffle... clearing throat* companygoindown.... I mean... I am so extremely happy... I think I'll stay here forever...

Me...

Me on a ... oh, let's say phone interview, why not... hypothetically speaking of course...

Funny stuff...

Things Not To Say at a Job Interview
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.

The lowlights:

Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent.

Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

Brought her large dog to the interview.

Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.

Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.

She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.

Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.

Asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.

Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer's office.

Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.

Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.

Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.

Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.

When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.

Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.

Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.

Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.

Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.

Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.

Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much.

While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.

During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.

A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.

An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.

His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.

He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.

He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.

Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.

He whistled when the interviewer was talking.

Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.

She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.

Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.

Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 30, 2008

2008-01-30T11:30:00.000-05:00

*singing*
This is the song that never ends...
and it goes on and on my friend...
some people, started singing it not knowing what it was...
and I'll continue singing it forever cuz...
This is the song that never ends.....

*snicker...GRIN*

So I've discovered that I am incredibly ... lazy. Yes. LAZY.

I seriously have to do some grocery shopping. I'm down to stale chips and tap water. Oh, and Diet Coke but based on my episode the other night? Yeah, no thanks.

Here's the thing... I can't stand grocery shopping. Which, let's face it, not very many actually "like" it.

But I don't like it for a strange reason...

Grocery store parking lots are a pain. Especially in winter... or when it's raining. I can't STAND having to park there. It's always crazy... people running around, in the way, with their carts full of booty, everyone zooming around trying to get a better spot, etc. Not to mention, walking across that vast open lot to get to and from the door. It's a loooong walk when it's windy and cold and/or rainy out.

So. I'm lazy. And, hungry.

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 29, 2008

2008-01-29T09:50:00.000-05:00

*singing*
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are gray...

These four lines ... over.... and over... and OVER again in my head. *grimace*

Perhaps because I am in a good mood? All bubbles and sunshine?

Riiiiight.

My house still hasn't sold, my company is... well... *far away... getting closer... whistling sound...* WHAM. Well, it just hit the wall. And my contractor has disappeared off the face of the earth...

Eh. Pshaw. BRING IT.

On another note...

A word of advice. If you are sensitive to caffeine, such as myself, do not kid yourself into thinking "one Diet Coke won't hurt my sleep." Because, News Flash, it will. (oh ... and cha-CHING! on the Diet Coke plug... *GRIN*)

I made this giant mistake last night.

I wanted something with flavor. Been a good girl and have been drinking lots of water. It's good for the body. Good for the skin. Blah blah, whatever.

I should have just reached for a beer instead... not only would it not have hurt my sleep, it would have actually helped me on my journey to sleepytown.

So... I was actually able to fall asleep. Haha! Take that caffeine!

However... there is a side effect. Strange dreams. I mean the kind where you wake up and go... "How on EARTH did THAT get in my head?"

Heed my advice folks. You'll sleep better.

Oh! Tee hee... short video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ART2V2ICxZI&feature=related

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 28, 2008

2008-01-28T09:38:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Cats and rabbits
Would reside in fancy little houses
And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers
In a world of my own

All the flowers
Would have very extra special powers
They would sit and talk to me for hours
When I'm lonely in a world of my own

There'd be new birds
Lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds
Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds
Within that world of my own

I could listen to a babbling brook
And hear a song that I could understand
I keep wishing it could be that way
Because my world would be a wonderland
- Alice (World of My Own - Alice in Wonderland)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m66PS2abFz8

I seem to be on an Alice in Wonderland kick. Hm. I've also been humming "a very Merry Un-Birthday ... to me?... to you... " Torture. It's worse than Henry VIII. *giggle ... snicker... * Ha ha! You know you're hummin' it too. Good luck with that.

Feelin' a little loco folks. It's Monday, so I have the usual Monday ARRRrrG going on.

And besides that? Let's add to the flavah with weather in the teens this morning. And oooh... it gets better...

My office is a refrigerator. No joke. I have a floating "magic" Harry Potter pen (would you expect any less?) that is constantly bouncing from the force of the air blowing on it. And because I am a giant dork, I shot a video of it. I cannot figure out how to get it on my computer today... but stay tuned for the exciting footage. I know... you are breathless with anticipation.

In all seriousness? I wonder why I always feel lousy in this building. Not only is it the "cheery" *cough* atmosphere... but the ice cold air blowing on my noggin' all day. I actually went as far as to stand on my desk to block the vent with file folders. That was fun... dangling precariously on the edge of my slippery desk... in stocking'd feet no less. Oh, and I'm afraid of heights. Not to mention spiders... which I'm sure giant ones are living up there... waiting to pounce. (yeah... that was fun thinking of spiders once I was already on my desk with my hands up in the ceiling... ew ew ew ew ew)

My being ice cold trumped my fear though. In the words of Dr. Evil... It's frickin' freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth. I'm wearing like 5 layers of clothing and I have no feeling in my face or toes. Brrrrrr... demmit.

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 25, 2008

2008-01-25T07:37:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Get that planet on the phone...
Ain't no time to waste...
Tell em' he ain't comin' home...
Cuz he's joined the human race...

They call him Howard the Duck...
No way to conceal it...
and he shot an arrow straight through my heart...
- Howard the Duck

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PVb2xZn2gqY

I could not help myself... I was inspired by talk of ducks. This immediately popped into my warped mind.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZqkQA6fcOBk

Right. Anyhoo...

You know... it's being in this cold, bitter, windy weather that makes me glad I live in NJ. Why, you ask me? I know, I must be crazy. What, I WANT to pay more for car insurance? ("but I saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico"... hahahahahaha... I couldn't resist... ) Cost of living is through the roof! I WANT this?

Yes. Here is why...

I don't have to pump my own gas. Ha ha! I can sit in my warm toasty car, roll down the window just long enough to slip out my card/cash, and roll it back up to contain the heat.

Now those of you living far down south are laughing at me... because it's always warm down there... and therefore, isn't a big deal to get out and pump your own gas. However! You still have to GET OUT of your car... touch that nasty, greasy, gas soaked pump with your HANDS *shivers* ew ew ew... and fill up your own tank. *snicker* I laugh at your expense.

And another thing I noticed? Gas has actually been CHEAPER in NJ than in the other crazy states. So... not only do you have to pump your own gas... it's MORE EXPENSIVE!

Again... I laugh at you! Ha ha! *snicker*

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 24, 2008

2008-01-24T10:14:00.000-05:00

*singing*
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby
- Elvis (Little Less Conversation)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOcZVl5EeRI

I had to use the Chris Daughtry American Idol clip of this song... seeing as to how...

AMERICAN IDOL IS BACK ON! WOOT!

Yes, I'm an American Idol fan. I'm wearing the big flashing neon DORK sign. Proudly.

I will try to contain my dorkish tendencies in here... though it will be hard. If I find a favorite on the show... look out... (Chris Daughtry, you're fantastic... you rock my world... you... ok... I'll stop)

So it's getting interesting here. I just want to KNOW what's going to happen already. Pieces go here... pieces go there... but still no official "by the way, here is what is happening." Hello? Concerned here?

Right. More like chopped liver.

hm.

*singing* Should I stay or should I go now.... if I go there will be trouble... but if I don't it will be double... so come on and let me know... should I stay or should I go?

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 23, 2008

2008-01-23T10:07:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Ill tumble 4 ya
Ill tumble 4 ya
Ill tumble 4 ya
Ill tumble 4 you
- Culture Club (Tumble for You)

I know... this song is just MEAN. but .... muhaha... muhahaha... muhahahahahahahaha!

It's one of those where you don't really know the rest of the lyrics either.... so you keep singing the same four lines over... and over... and over... Good grief I'm horrible. *snicker... giggle*

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jxpRQX-SNt4

So I finished my "fun" scarf!! Here are some pictures... what happened is I didn't realize the light blue and taupe were gonna knit so skinny... then the white knitted KAPOW!... puffy. I decided to run with it anyway.

The blue and taupe actually have little silver bits in them too (reminds me of tinsel). Verra sparkly. Verry purty. I'm diggin' it. The pictures make the blue look kind of like mint green... it's actually a baby blue. Really pretty!

The only bad part is I ran out of white on the one side... so the block is about half the size of the one on the other side. (I cheated when I took the picture... *sheepish grin*) But no big. The scarf is for me so I'll deal. Though every time I look at it I'll probably beat myself up about it... I'm my own worst critic!

Funny stuff...
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul
it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph
office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her
that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer
to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, it will cost 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull,
the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send
her the word "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
"comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read
it very slowly.. "com-for-da-bul."

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 22, 2008

2008-01-22T15:05:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Bad girls
talking about the sad girls
sad girls
talking about the bad girls, yeah

Toot toot... hey... beep beep
- Donna Summers (Bad Girls)

Totally random... I ... I don't know.

I have absolutely nothing to talk about today. I'm tired, and cranky, and lazy. So there. I stick my tongue out at you in defiance because I will be deemed... BORING. Ha!

Seriously though. I have nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. At least nothing that I care to share. Oh... SNAP!

Hey, tomorrow I should have a picture of my new pretty scarf that I knitted all by me onesy. YEAH! Hey... come on... at least FAKE excitement will ya? It's what I would call... a "fun scarf." Meaning... it turned out a little weird... so by calling it "fun" it's therefore "cool" and "pretty." Right.

Funny stuff...

Just random clips and things that have made me laugh today.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HAhjiNUdWhE

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 18, 2008

2008-01-18T10:14:00.000-05:00

*singing*
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna have myself a time,
(Kyle + Stan) Friendly faces everwhere humble folks without temptation,
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna leave my woes behind,
(Cartman) Ample Parking Day or Night, people spouting, "Howdy, Neighbor"
I'm headin' down to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind,
(Kenny) mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble.... mumble mumble mumble mumble
So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine.
-South Park Theme Song

(it's officially stuck in my noggin'... see funny stuff below...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnkyGQLZhHw

pssst... know what?

IT'S FRIDAY.

Just thought I should share.

TGIF. Big time. I can't WAIT to get outta here today. It's tense folks. Who knows what's gonna happen. I can hear the whistling of the boulder... any day now...

WHAM! Right on my head.

Oh here we go... *singing* "Wake me up... before ya go go... "

Bits and pieces of the company are being sold off. Who knows what's going to happen to us?

I'm hearing the swish... swish of that ax again...

"Off with their heads!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfmAzoILaK8&feature=related

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 17, 2008

2008-01-17T10:55:00.000-05:00

*singing*
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
- Avril Lavigne (Keep Holding On)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmukW1sNlIk

A fitting song for today's TDC... From the movie... Eragon.

I have more good news!! I just found out that the third book in The Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini will be released September 20, 2008! It's about TIME.

I've read Eragon and Eldest. Both were fantastic. (I also got others hooked ... muhahahaha muhahahahahah!) Eldest just left you hanging at the end. So FINALLY! Book 3. And right before the 6th HP movie comes out... good timing!

I wonder when movie 2 will come out. And I hope they do a better job this time. Eragon the movie was kind of a disappointment. If it had been done along the same lines as Lord of the Rings it would have been amazing. But it was geared towards young kids. BLEGH. Sci-Fi fans of the series went berserk and rightfully so. John Malkovich as Galbatorix though? AWESOME CHOICE. He's a great bad guy. Jeremy Irons as Brom? Also a good choice. Rachel Weisz as Saphira, not bad. Great actors, bad directing (sorry!)

Anyhoo... enough of my rant on Eragon. Now on to more important things. Food.

I have discovered a new tasty snack mix and wanted to share. Frito Lay "Munchies." Included you'll find a cheesy mix of little baby Doritos, Sun Chips, Cheetos, and Rold Gold Pretzels. They are the cutest lil' chips you ever did see and are... DELICIOUS.

Be warned. If you open the bag, you can pretty much count on eating the entire thing in one sitting. There is no "well, I just want a few to see what it tastes like." Right. Don't kid yourself.

Thankfully, I'm not a big pretzel fan (though honey twists are crack in the form of a pretzel), so I picked all of them out and ate the other three. (of course I threw out the "healthiest" of the four) *grimace* I'll be paying for that on the treadmill tonight.

I just made the giant mistake of going to http://www.fritolay.com/. For crying out loud... they make them in a Ranch too. I'm done for.

http://www.fritolay.com/fl/flstore/cgi-bin/Nutrition_ProdID_3170.htm

http://www.fritolay.com/fl/flstore/cgi-bin/Nutrition_ProdID_392130.htm

Funny stuff...

You know that whistling sound of things falling (that eventually land on top of Wile E. Coyote) in the Warner Bros. Looney Tunes cartoons? That is the sound that keeps popping into my head as I sit here at work. I'm just waiting for the giant boulder to fall on my head. More detail on that later...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RNboK98Ay0&feature=related

More Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 16, 2008

2008-01-16T10:46:00.000-05:00

*singing*
actually... more like humming... I have the Harry Potter theme STUCK in my melon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJPVwoRzQlo

I see that the 6th movie, "Half-Blood Prince" will be released November 21, 2008! The week before my favorite holiday... THANKSGIVING.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417741/

I LOVE when they do that! Harry Potter and great food... all in the same month? Pinch me...

And even better? I found sneak peeks on YouTube. Once again, YouTube pulls through for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skTs8ErDbKk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUPaVhMHezc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obTAoXFs2J4&feature=related

I am not really sure how to contain my glee....

Be excited.

"I tell you, that dragon is the most horrible creature I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes about it you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me, he told me off for frightening it. And when I left he was singing it a lullaby." - Ron Weasley

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 15, 2008

2008-01-15T09:45:00.000-05:00

*singing*
I got my baby
I got those good times
Don't lack no sunshine
Baby I got you
- Faith Hill (I Got My Baby)

Dedicated to my Cody Bear... who is 12 years old today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CODY!

My lil' old man is just as spry as ever. He's older than Dooley, but more of a puppy than he is. His nickname... "The Shadow." Wherever I go... he is. Including the bathroom. Unless someone has good smellin' people food. Then I don't exist.

He couldn't be more loyal. He is the sweetest animal you'll ever meet... but boy... don't mess with his momma. He'll go Cujo on your behind. Then smile and lick his chops after he's done.

He'll get a nice treat tonight. Some Beggin's "bacon" strips, chicken tender treats, and a good belly rub. Gee... I wouldn't mind that myself.

This would be Dooley. Who did in fact lick my birthday cake one year... Hey, if it's on the edge of the table? And I'm not paying attention? It's free game. No?

Since Cody won't let me take his picture (or let me dress him up with a hat), this will have to suffice.

I love my boys. Dogs are great! They are always happy to see you when you walk through the door. You have a bad day? And go home to big, "smiling," drooling faces? Tails wagging? All is right with the world once more. When you're sick or sad? They'll cuddle up with you, give you hugs and loves, and keep you safe and warm. It's like they want to take your pain away.

Big furry loves... that's what they are.

Funny stuff...

One of my favorite movies of all time... I used to sing along when I was a little girl. Those who remain nameless *cough...cough* recorded me too. Hmm. Remind me to find that tape...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IUZSj7vBcw&feature=related

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 14, 2008

2008-01-14T12:15:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"

She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"
- Fuel (Bad Day)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUhb2qf_6BM

Last night I heard "6 inches of snow coming... lookout!" WOO HOO! Snow day baby. Yeah-ya! What?

I wake up... late... thinking, eh... if I can go in at all, I'll go in late anyway...

I run to the window... practically skipping with glee... ooooh tee hee... snow snow snow!

I peek through the blinds ... giggling with anticipation... and...

NOTHING.

Not a single flake of snow. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Bubkes.

Are you KIDDING me? What a giant let down that was. I mean. Really. If the weather channel tells me it's gonna snow like the dickens, it should snow for crying out loud. Sheesh.

Funny stuff..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuHkDT7q6Gg

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 11, 2008 (100th POST!)

2008-01-10T17:09:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Hello there, my old friend
Not so long ago it was 'til the end
We played outside in the pouring rain
On our way up the road we started over again

Youre livin' a dream....wo you on top
My mind is achin'....lord it won't stop
That's how it happens....livin' life by the drop

Up and down that road in our worn out shoes
Talkin' bout good things and singin' the blues
You went your way....i stayed behind
We both knew it was just a matter of time

Youre livin' a dream....wo you on top
My mind is achin'....lord it wont stop
That's how it happens....livin' life by the drop

No wasted time....were alive today
Churnin' up the past....there's no easier way
Times been between us....a means to an end
God its good to be here walkin' together my friend

Youre livin' a dream....wo you on top
My mind is achin'....lord it won't stop
Thats how it happens....livin' life by the drop
Thats how it happens....livin' life by the drop
Thats how it happens....livin' life by the drop
- Stevie Ray Vaughn (Life by the Drop)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7ZPMScX9-k&feature=related

So... my teeth hurt. I drink something cold and it goes straight to my brain. So methinks I have an issue...

I'm scared of the dentist. Yes, I know. Everyone is afraid of the dentist. Seriously though... I'm wet your pants kind of terrified.

I'm not really scared of the dentist him/herself per se. I ... well... I cannot STAND fingers in the mouth. Someone bites their knuckle to collect their thoughts and I go berserk. Blegh! ACK! Ptooooeee! *grimace*

Where this comes from? No idea. In case you haven't figured it out... I'm a little weird.

Then... heaven forbid I have to get a shot to numb my gums. NEEDLES? FORGET IT. And a needle... in my FACE? Are you KIDDING me? No. Uh-uh. Not gonna happen.

Why would I willingly go see someone who is going to put a needle in my face and fingers in my mouth? Madness.

So I'm gonna suffer with it. Until it finally gets so bad that I have to go. Then I'll just ask the dentist to clonk me over the head with a giant cartoon mallet and knock my behind out.

Funny stuff...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZIuzQcvlTU

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 10, 2008

2008-01-10T09:56:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Never smile at a crocodile
No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin
He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin
Never smile at a crocodile
Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile
Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day
Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile
You may very well be well bred
Lots ot etiquette in your head
But there's always some special case, time or place
To forget etiquette
For instance:
Never smile at a crocodile
No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin
He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin
Never smile at a crocodile
Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile
Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day
Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile
- Never Smile at a Crocodile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVWuAyWWuAU&feature=related

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOOLEY!!

My baby is 8 years old today. I've had him since he was 5 weeks old and smaller than a cat... and just a wee beastie. Now he's a big giant smelly hairy monster.

*sniffle... tear...* Momma's lil' man is growin' up. Cody's birthday is next week. He's gonna be 12!

Would I be a big dork if I had a doggie birthday party for them? Complete with party hats and gourmet doggie treats? OOohh... and... *snicker... giggle* Doggie bags? hahahahahahahah!

I would be a dork. Yeah... Hm. Dooley sticks his tongue out at you and says pttth.

Funny stuff...

This cracked me up... Got on a muppets kick when I started singing muh-na muh-na... do do do do do... DEMMIT. it's stuck again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3HhJwae1BQ&feature=related

More Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 9, 2008

2008-01-09T09:46:00.000-05:00

*singing*
"You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin when the dealins done."
- Kenny Rogers (The Gambler)

I'm in a BAD MOOD. hrumph. Irritable. Grouchy. Ill-tempered. Cross. Grumpy. Surly. Cantankerous. Not a happy camper. Downright peevish. You name it.

Some mean sprite musta stole my zzz's cuz I tossed and turned all night...

midnight... 1am... 2am...3am... countin' sheep...

Perhaps I was thinking about the realtors open going on at my house today. (Yup... still trying to sell. hahahahah... in this market... I know... it's comical) Last minute cleaning and straightening. No specs of dust (good luck with that with two Golden Retrievers in the house). And realtors are the worst critics. Basically, if it looks like you live there at all... you're gonna get slammed for being a slob.

And it's rainy and windy and nasty out which doesn't help. Wet dog smell. GREAT. I now have so much Febreeze in my lungs all I have to do is exhale and I can make a room smell fresh.

Funny stuff...

Because I am a grouch, I am therefore a brat. Enjoy getting this outta yer noggin.

mah-na mah-na... do do, do do dooo... do do do doo... mah-na mah-na...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YevYBsShxNs

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 8, 2008

2008-01-08T09:48:00.000-05:00

*singing*
"I keep livin' and lovin' and learnin' the hard way.
You're the hardest lesson, baby, of my life.
I keep livin' and lovin' and learnin' the hard way.
Someday baby, I will get it right."
- Faith Hill (The Hard Way)

I enjoy knitting. Have I shared this yet? And it seems the joy of knitting is contagious. My friends are joining the bandwagon (and have surpassed me... and have even started teaching ME patterns...)

Coolest thing? I discovered today that YouTube has videos to show you how to knit different stitches! WOOT! Ok COME ON. That's awesome. YouTube... you're the bestest.

Knitting is relaxing. (remember I said that) You can bring it just about anywhere. And it's pretty easy to do.

Now... yesterday I bought this fantastic yarn. It's even made from recycled material so ... go me, I'm saving the environment. I'm a champ.

Well... last night I went to start knitting with said yarn when... I pulled the end and... it became this spaghetti pile o' tangled mess. I learned the hard way NOT to pull the end. That I should gently and carefully unravel and re-roll the yarn. It looked something like this after I got through with it...

Have you ever tried to untangle yarn? It's a giant PAIN in the arse. Patience is not one of my virtues.

So if you buy yarn and it's sold like this...

Expect it to tangle when you go to knit with it... unless you are very very VERY careful. (I have another one to work with and I'm afraid it's gonna do the same thing... oy)

I've been untangling since last night. I'd say I've put about 3-4 hours into this mess and I've barely made a dent.

By the end of the night ...

Funny stuff...

This morning on the drive to work I was careless and I had an accident. I rear-ended a car.

So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you
know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and like-stuff seems to get funny?

Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I look down at him and say, 'Well, which one are you then?'. . . and that's when the fight started.

More funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 7, 2008

2008-01-07T10:49:00.000-05:00

*singing*
"Stop right now, thank you very much,
I need somebody with the human touch,
Hey you always on the run,
Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun."
- Spice Girls (Stop)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maZAwq4k5rg

Ok ok... I know. Spice Girls. I SWEAR I didn't actually BUY the CD. I got it free for purchasing a bunch of other stuff. Do I HAVE to listen to it? No... Does it get my booty shakin' as I hoof it on the tread mill? I'll admit it... YES! Hey, whatever works right?

I happened to hear this one last night as it popped up in the shuffle on my iPod. Upbeat, peppy. Yup. Works for me. *GRIN*

I tend to dance and "break it down" a bit like... well like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ_DOSV8sEg

and yes... I'll admit it... I have this song too... I dig Pop music. So THERE. Tongue out and a hmph in defiance.

Anyhoo... funny story...

So last week it was freezing cold outside. Like... "Frickin' freezing Mr. Bigglesworth" type of cold out. Like 5 degrees tops.

I'll set the scene...

I have a smart moment and go out to warm up my car. (and remember, I was sick as could be last week...)

Ok... the car is "warm enough" (meaning I started it, ran inside to get my purse, and came back out to leave) I back out of the driveway and get on my merry way.

I'm drivin' along, drivin' along ... when... bing!

A funny light turns on on the dash... and I, of course, panic...

What IS this strange light?? What does it MEAN???? I could ... break down! Be stranded! In the COLD! WITH a cold! The HORROR!

I calm myself down... and make it to the office... I figure, I'll google this little warning light and see what it means...

I google along, google along and find...

Low tire pressure. AHA! Well yeah, it's like 0 degrees outside. (and COOL! my car tells me when I have low tire pressure... nice!)

Mystery solved. Nancy Drew, eat your heart out.

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 4, 2008

2008-01-04T11:45:00.001-05:00

*singing*
"I've Been Working So Hard
I'm punching my card
Eight hours. For what?
Oh, tell me what I got
I've got this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town
Tonight I gotta cut

*Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me off a my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose

You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig a way down in your heart
You're burning, yearning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Oowhee, Marie
Shake it, shake it for me
Whoa, Milo
C'mon, c'mon let's go
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose

We got to turn me around
And put your feet on the ground
Now take a hold of the phone
Whooooooooa, I'm turning it loose

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me off a my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me off a my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues

Everybody cut Footloose!"
- Kenny Loggins (Footloose)

One of my favorite clips...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi4U1u4LSdY

So... *sniffle*... I still have my bear of a cold. However, I am finally feeling a little better. Though mind you... not tip top. And I still sound pretty gross.

Anyhoo it's Friday and I'm feeling a bit better ... right? All seems good with the world.

eeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......HIT THE BRAKES.

I walk into work to... a verbal spanking. (thankfully, over the phone) Oh yes. And did I have it coming? NO. Did I bend over and take the ruler to the rear even though I wasn't in the wrong? YES. I'm such a pansy. *slapping palm to forehead*

I'll take my lumps when I deserve them, I think I've made that clear before. But when I take it and it's undeserved? So not CRICKET. Way to kick a girl while she's down. UGH.

After that lovely episode I just felt... icky. So I decided to Feng Shui my office and help clear out some of the negativity. (and later I'll burn incense and sing Kumbya... good grief what has come over me??)

I threw out mass amounts of old paperwork. I boxed up knick knacks that were so covered in dust it was hard to tell what they were anymore (ok, I'm playing that up a bit...). I hung new presents on the walls and did some serious rearranging.

My aura is a much happier color now... (yup... gotta lay off the cold meds...)

Another way to handle a tough day is... "Supermodel documentary hour!" (for those of you who haven't seen the movie Superstar with Molly Shannon... see the clip below and please rent it cuz you'll laugh. A lot.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WD17m91kiSM

Couldn't resist ... had to include this clip too... laughing ... too ... hard...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hINnnVQ9Zo

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - January 3, 2008

2008-01-03T10:23:00.000-05:00

*singing*
"Boogie fever,
got to boogie down
Boogie fever,
I think it's going around"
- The Sylvers (Boogie Fever)

I HAVE THE WORST COLD. (ha ha... Boogie Fever... get it? hahahahahahaha)

Oh Fate. How cruel she can be. I get a long holiday weekend and... a nasty cold to go with it. Ok. Ha ha. The joke is on me.

*sniffle... cough... sniffle... ACHOOOOO!... sniffle*

Ugh.

I kind of look like this. (note the ladybug in the hair... for Dooley...)

Small children will cry at the sight of me.

I already scared someone out of my office. I had a coughing fit where it sounded like the devil himself was trying to speak through me.

Oh yes. I'm at work because... I "smart." Right. Note the quotes.

I have to give props to some of my meds. Mucinex and Neosnephrine. You rock my world. Nyquil has to step up and add some more sleepy time to their draught cuz... no sleep for this chica.

I swear... a few spritz's of Neosnephrine up your snoot and.... the clouds part... angels sing... and.... sweet... wonderful... AIR. It's a beautiful thing.

(hmmmm... advertising... plug... CHA-CHING!)

Random funny...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iJRvEmt4Pb8&feature=related

Past week of funny...

Get Fuzzy...

Over the Hedge...

Peanuts...

The Daily Crazy - December 28, 2007

2007-12-28T10:34:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!

My New Years Resolution:

Roll with the punches. And smile. A lot.

Not much to say today folks. Gonna make like a banana and split outta this place early. (make like a tree and leaf... hahahahaha... ) I wanted to be sure to wish everyone a Happy!

I'm so happy... I'm inspired to dance...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSSIgNjb_Wk

Funny stuff...

The Daily Crazy - December 27, 2007

2007-12-27T09:36:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Show me the way to go home...
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed...
Well I had a little drink about an hour ago...
And it went right to my head...

Help me. I am so BORED.

No one is here at work. I bailed out yesterday and didn't show... today is sheer TORTURE. Playing in traffic seems more tolerable than this madness.

Perhaps I'll dig up some delicious lunch. Hmmmm... soup and salad? Bong and a blitz? Smoke and a pancake? Pipe and a crepe? YouTube... save me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ufCMEaFX-s&feature=related

Another hilarious clip from Austin Powers Goldmember...

"you've succeeded in turnin' me into a frickin' jack-in-the-box..."
"oh NO WAY..."
" way to go a-hole"
"how bout NO .... ya crazy dutch bastard."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BKPbnQztRs

Past week of funny...

Get Fuzzy...

Over the Hedge...

Peanuts...

The Daily Crazy - December 21, 2007

2007-12-21T09:55:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

*singing*
Don't want tinsel, don't want bows
Don't want Rudolph's shiny nose
I'm gonna eat for Christmas

From my diet I will stray
But I'll workout the next day (Oh what a shock!)
Gonna eat for Christmas

It's a time for giving
Won't you give me mashed potatoes and ham?
It's a time for sharing
Are you gonna polish off those yams?

You mean these?
No?
Yes I am

I don't say this to be nice
I'll have more black beans and rice
Gonna eat for Christmas

At the family shindig
Gonna be the Christmas pig
But I'll leave some room
I'm planning quite a buffet
Please don't throw away
That leftover food
Santa gave us some advice
To be naughty's very nice
Cause when you're stuffed
It'll always feel like
Christmas to you!

Oh, that was exhausting, oh we got a break now?
Oh, yeah
I am so hungry Glo, what'ya got?
Put down that sandwich
Well, do you have anything...
You can't eat now
I can eat this now
No, there's no time
How much time do we have?
We're almost going to sing now..
Let me just..wait..I can swallow..you take the first part
Get her some water for god sake
I'll join you, go.

There's a twinkle in my eye
For a piece of pumpkin pie
Gonna eat for Christmas

If I eat one more soufflé
I won't fit in Santa's sleigh
I'll be filled with gloom
To face the scale the next day
Is no holiday
We'll sing a different tune (you know it)
Take advantage while we may
Let's pig out on Christmas...
- You don't want to know... it's worse than Britney Spears...

WOOT! It's Friday!! AND the last work day before Christmas! SWEET!! I am gonna live it up and eat some yummy grub. mmmmmMMMM... Christmas cookies... DELICIOUS.

I SO don't want to be here at work. *pout*

As you can tell by my profile pic... I am a gigantic dork. Selp-portrait on my cell phone. Wearing antlers, a blinking nose, and a rudolph t-shirt. *GRIN* I am so cool.

I am waiting to get kicked outta my office for breaking dress code. NICE! Oooh darn... send me home early right before the holidays? BUMMER.

Ok, I'm acting like a bad-ass. I totally brought another shirt just in case. I try...

separated at birth...

Now I've seen everything...

Good movie clip...

I thought of this movie yesterday when I used the Harry Potter List. Two characters from "Love, Actually" were in HP. I love this movie... great for the holidays. *tear... sniffle* And I LOVE this song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5PULZFSHfg

More funny stuff...
http://www.comics.com/

The Daily Crazy - December 20, 2007

2007-12-20T10:33:00.001-05:00

*singing*
Oh Jingle Bells...
Jingle Bells...
Jingle all the way...
Oh what fun it is to ride
in a one horse open sleigh
HEY!
Jingle Bells...
Jingle Bells...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Sing it and love it peeps. *giggle...snicker* No matter how hard you fight it... you will hum it under your breath when you least expect it. DOH! Tee hee...

or I can hit you with... *hem hem... clearing throat...singing*

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring
Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air.

What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jingling feet
That's the jingle bell,
That's the jingle bell,
That's the jingle bell rock.

And OMG what HAPPENED to Billy Idol? Check out this video... YIKES. This is just... sad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbOh-dFE3N0

I am going stir crazy in this office! Arg. Want. Out. Of. This. Building. *snuffle... grunt*

Insert random funny pic here...

Insert random scary pic here...

*HIGH PITCHED SQUEAL* YIPE. *lip quiver*

Insert random cute pic here...

Awwwwwwwww.... kitty.

I'm bored. Can you tell? I have a boatload of work to do. And I just say NO. I dinna wanna. So there.

Insert random Rudolph pic here...

Funny stuff...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE TOO BIG A HARRY POTTER FAN WHEN...

You mutter nonsense latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

The wand order mistake in GOF drove you crazy, and even after it was "corrected" you still came up with dozens of theories to explain why that happened.

You point at normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You collect plugs.

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You watched "Love, Actually" because two minor Harry Potter actors were in it.

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 7 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions, and all your friends think you're mad.

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "tellyfone."

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You get in to heated arguments over how much gel Tom Felton had in his hair in the first two movies.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You went out and bought the latest editition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "muggle".

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving.

More funny stuff...
http://www.comics.com/

The Daily Crazy - December 19, 2007

2007-12-19T11:37:00.000-05:00

*singing*
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked up
in my bedroom fast asleep.

Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."
- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (John Mellencamp version)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsat4e8jgHA

Shopping and crafting to be done today folks. (this means... I'm not at work... I point and laugh at you! ha ha!!) I'm going to brave the masses and see if I can finish up. Hey, with like... 4-5 days to spare? Not bad huh? Last minute is running out on Christmas Eve.

*twitch....sniffle...twitch* Who am I KIDDING? THIS is last minute for me. I am WAY too high strung to do this to myself. Add a cup of coffee to the mix and you'll be peeling me off the ceiling. Oy.

Anyhoo...

I'm gonna keep this one short. And... kill you with CUTENESS. Lookit this face...

Dooley... the wonder years...

Awwww... ain't I so freakin' CUTE??? I only look sweet an innocent... I mean... I AM smaller than the cat...

I stick my tongue out at you and go PPPPTTTTHHHHHH! I am such a bad boy, but you love me anyway...

I give you my seal face and say "roo roooooo" in my cutest voice. This way... you will not yell at me when you find out I ate your bra. Oh and that I'm gonna bite... hard... with my sharp pointy teeth... until I'm 6 months old...

Extreme closeup of me... the handsome devil that I am. Admit it. You're smitten. I know.

Unfortunately, I don't have baby pictures of Cody since he was a "rescue." (and he hates having his picture taken... like his momma!) I found him through the Humane Society. They have a list of animals waiting for a home. He has been my shadow ever since I brought him home. I couldn't ask for a more loyal dog... and friend. My two boys are everything to me. They are ... of course... gonna be spoiled rotten for Christmas...

I bought them this stuffed pheasant toy (they had one before but ripped it's head off). You squeeze it and it goes.... WOOOOOONK. *GRIN*

Funny stuff...

Why did Harry Potter have to repeat his first year at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft?

Because he couldn't spell.

More funny stuff...
www.comis.com

The Daily Crazy - December 18, 2007

2007-12-18T10:28:00.000-05:00

*singing*
"I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

C'mon baby

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Brr its cold….
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright

Make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again…"
- Baby It's Cold Outside

One of my favorite parts from the movie Elf. I crack up every time he hits the lockers. Seriously, nothin' like physical comedy. *GRIN*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9re6CQZGFw

I wasn't gonna bring this up, but I just can't help myself. The thought occurs to me and I must write about it. It's the way I roll.

You know what really makes my day? A really comfortable pair of underwear. Oh yes. I said it. Like you all really need to know about my skivvies right? But it's true! And maybe in telling you this it will help improve your day someday. A comfy pair of drawers and all is right with the world.

I found the comfiest pair of thermal (oh yes, thermal) shorts that are like cute granny panties. And I'm proud of it demmit! I swear I have the toastiest toosh in all the land. I'm telling ya... a warm bum just makes ya smile.

Trust me... the next time you know it's gonna be a rough day? Comfy undies. And then? You can take over the world.

Anyhoo...

Another one of my favorite parts... tears... pouring... out... my ... eyes... laughing... too ... hard...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Xh35MymZo

Funny stuff...

Things you wouldn't know without movies...

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

More funny stuff...
http://www.comics.com/

The Daily Crazy - December 17, 2007

2007-12-17T11:42:00.000-05:00

*singing* (I am da Crazy Frog!)
"ring ding ding ding ding, ring ding ding... bum bum!
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special"
- Da Crazy Frog singin' (George Michael's Last Christmas)

Please watch this... it's the funniest thing EVER. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2SateaTLZU

So this morning. Ah this morning...

We had a nice wintry mix Saturday night into Sunday. Not too bad. Eh.

Well, of course, I pulled the ol' lift your windshield wipers up on the car so they don't freeze to the window. Right?

Hm.

Well this morning... hmmm... I see a bunch of snow bunched up around the bottoms of the wipers on my Pathfinder. Hmmmmm.... Nah... that'll come off easy...

Right.

Frozen solid. Ice PACKED around my wipers. They weren't budgin'. So my windshield wipers were stuck up and out. Oy.

I was able to defrost the car enough to chip away a little of the ice. So they were about halfway down. But they are probably toast from swayin' in the breeze as I boogied around 80mph down 287 this morning. (speeding... since I was running late... because of the good time I was havin' makin' ice sculptures outta my windshield wipers).

Did I mention it's near Wizard of Oz windy out today too?

Happy Monday all.

Insert random funny HERE. Tee hee... It's been a while ...

Funny stuff...
One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the
ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

"Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

O.K. admit it, you thought it was going to be something nasty, didn't you.

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!**

More funny stuff...
http://www.comics.com/

The Daily Crazy - December 14, 2007

2007-12-14T09:37:00.000-05:00

*singing*
"Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! You gonna be singing it all day. You know it. LOVE IT.

So I'm back to Dooley. *sigh* Strange dog.

Last night I decided to give him an empty paper towel roll. He LOVES to play with those. (like a kid who likes the box more than the toy). He likes to rip apart cardboard boxes for me too. Then I go around and pick up the pieces to throw out.

See... he enjoys doing it... (really funny when he shoves his head in one and barks at the bottom)... it saves me the trouble... and it saves space in the garbage. Win/Win. Right?

So I show him the roll and he goes ape on me. Eyes wide, tongue out, tail waggin, growly-bark going. He's happy as can be that he's going to get such a cool toy.

I chuck it to him and off he goes with his prize to a happy little corner.

rriiiiip.... riiippppp.... chomp chomp chomp....

wait... huh?

Where'd the "chomp chomp" come from? Usually it's just a riiip rrriiiiiiIIIIP.

He ate it. Well... got through half of it. No. Not kidding.

He usually just rips it to pieces for me... but this one must have been particularly tasty. WEIRD DOG.

Now... I can't pick on him too much. Because when he rips apart boxes for me I have to make sure I follow him around to get the pieces. Or CODY eats them.

Which... by the way... Cody snagged the second half of the roll and went to town.

Funny stuff...

More funny stuff...
http://www.comics.com/

The Daily Crazy - December 13, 2007

2007-12-13T09:05:00.000-05:00

*singing*
Oh the weather outside is frightful...
But the fire is so delightful...
And since we've no place to go...
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

YIPE. It's sleeting. Wait... it's a WINTRY MIX. Greeeeat. And where am I? At work. Hm. Our parking lot is a sheet of ice. Oh JOY. I'm hearing things like "it's raining chunks of ice" from the people going outside. Double hm.

But the good news? I get to go home EARLY. Nice. However, leaving early at this point? Means going about 20mph (maybe) and sitting in traffic while everyone bails at the same time. *sigh*

And I just had a cup of tea. Caffeinated. SMART. That's me. Some might call me "special." In quotes.

And I'm leaving at lunch time... so by the time I get home, not only am I going to be bouncin' off the walls, I'll have to make a beeline for the little girls room... and I'm going to be famished... so I'll look something like this...

Happy slippin' and a slidin'....

Funny stuff...

Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."

Q: Why do you put band-aids in the freezer?
A: For cold cuts!

Q: What do fireflies eat?
A: Light snacks!

Q: Why can't you tell a cow a secret?
A: Cuz it goes in one ear and out the udder!

More funny stuff...
http://www.comics.com/