Friday, May 23, 2008

The Sporadic Crazy - May 23, 2008

*singing*
Lynyrd Skynyrd - "That Smell"

I know... it's been so long! It seems I've had a touch of writers block. I just needed some inspiration.

Well... Inspiration just WHAM! slapped me full in the face.

It's a beautiful day out... the sun is shining... the birds are singing... a gentle breeze...

I decided to go home at lunch today to chill out with the dawgs... (after downing a most delicious, and huge, lunch)...

The scene


I let them out... and note that Cody is hanging out by the side of the pool a lot, but think nothing of it...

I go back in... Dooley is chillin' outside... I'm hanging out at the kitchen table... Cody with me... all are happy.

hm.

Time to go back to work. I let Dooley inside...

*sniff... sniff*

What the HELL is that smell???? It smells like... dead thing. You know how a smell is so bad it goes right to your mouth? Where your mouth fills up with saliva and you think you're gonna hurl? YEAH. That's how bad it was.

And it was all over Dooley.

Dogs are disgusting. They like to roll in dead things. WHY DO THEY DO THAT??? Because, seriously, it's BEYOND nasty.

So not only was it all over Dooley, Cody was hanging out by said dead thing (cuz that's how I found where it was... I put 2 and 2 together... eventually). I THINK it was a rabbit once upon a time. That's how dead it was.

So now BOTH dogs needed a bath. And I was running late getting back to work.

Great.

I had to soap & hose down both dogs. *sigh* (and ew ew ew ew... touch them with my HANDS... touch the dead thing nastiness with my HANDS... bleeeggghhhhharrrgggghhh)

But it gets better...

I finish with Dooley (who proceeded to shake and get wet dog smell ALL over me). I keep somewhat of an eye on him while hosing down Cody. Well the SECOND I look away... here he comes running from the direction of the dead thing. *&^% !!!!

I let go of Cody to hose down Dooley again... and Cody proceeded to go roll ... head to toe... in dark mulch. DOUBLE *&^% !!!

BAD DOGS!! VERY BAD DOGS!

Needless to say, they did NOT get a treat when I left. I stink. Like wet dog... and a little like dead thing (unless it's just in my head... but I'm afraid it's not).

Happy Friday and three day weekend.

Right.

Oh... did I mention that people wanted to come look at the house this afternoon too? hahahahahahahahahahah! Hilarious. Current status of the house... well... it smells like me right now... times 1,000... + 2 wet dogs fermenting inside.

*grumble*